Why Do I Feel So Paralyzed?

[boymommy3]

I feel like I am getting worse. And I also feel like my anxiety is getting worse. I just feel like I am on the verge of panic constantly which is the worst feeling ever! My doc upped my Citalopram to 20 mg yesterday and I so hope it helps. I just don't understand all of this uncontrollable anxiety.

I seem to have a different symptom everyday so many things come and go. Today I have burning feelings on my skin. Not like I am hot but like my skin is burning or sometimes it's almost like that feeling when you use something like icy-hot. And weakness. Sometimes I feel like I am not even going to be able to walk, like my knees are going to buckle. And I don't have bp issues much, so I know it's not that.

I am so desperate to feel better.

Did go to the cardiologist today and he put an event monitor on me that I'll wear for 3 weeks and also scheduled me for a treadmill stress test next week, but I don't go back to him for a month. I don't want wait that long.

I just don't understand all that is happening to me and bloodwork keeps coming back normal.

Does the anxiety ever get better?

[ukwildcat]

I don't have an answer for you but it is like you wrote a paragraph similar to my symptoms. I have been having anxiety problems myself and they seem uncontrollable once they start. I told my doctor about these problems with anxiety, weakness, fatigue, brain fog and pain. It started a new batch of meds, doctors, and tests. My family keeps saying I am worrying about all these new things so much and creating or making these problems worse. I agree all these new things add to my already existing symptoms(too much to deal with while feeling bad) but I was having these problems before. That is what created all these new things. Many of my symptoms seem all over the board and keep changing and getting worse and worse. Even makes it worse that I keep crying all the time, it is like an involuntary thing even when I'm not sad. I'm not a crier. I know my family thinks I'm losing it, even though they try to be supportive. If I was just listening to myself and not going through it, I would agree with them. However, I think the stress of this illness does have many mental components. Many of us have had so many bad experiences with meds that when we start feeling worse, we don't want to go through all that again. Many of us have been through many bad times and lived through them. We just have to hang on and look toward the light on the other side. You have to be a strong person to make it through this illness. Hope you find an answer and start feeling better. If you find answer post it, people with similar problems will know how you treated it, but know you are not alone in this fight.

[badhbt]

I can relate to both of you. When I was at my worst and they were trying to diagnose me I had my neurologist stumped. I was complaining about burning down the back, and my legs not working right. I was so wobbly. My anxiety was pretty much 24/7...I felt like I was coming out of my skin. I had other symptoms also. Then about a month later the crying came..I couldn't control it. I would just cry and cry.

Thank goodness that storm is behind me. I think it just takes time. I can't say I have found any meds that REALLY help...I think for me it just took time.

All my labs came back normal...it is hard to believe you can feel so bad, but look normal medically....SO frustrating!

Hang in there, better times are ahead.

[Guest Alex]

The anxiety does get better, but it's up to you to take control over it rather than allow it to control your life.

I'm not speaking from books I've read but from my own experience. I never thought I'd be able to ever relax again, or to come to terms with the sudden changes in my life that this illness brought...yet in time, things changed for the better.

What helped with anxiety in my case - time and patience (it took me a while to realize I was actually fueling my own problems) as well as cognitive behavioral therapy CBT. I did that for free, at home, on my own, at my own pace - not in a therapist's office. The therapists I've seen just offered pills and in my experience the pills mask the symptoms, but do not really solve the problems.

I've also tried - with some degree of success - meditation, listening to relaxation tracks (plenty of that stuff on youtube), as well as breathing.

I've experimented at some point with several so called anti-anxiety programs ...I have mixed feelings about them, but if anyone is interested feel free to PM me and I'd be more than willing to share my resources with you.

It's not easy but it's doable, and yes, it takes time, patience, determination, perseverance, strength...there really is no magic recipe.

Alex

[boymommy3]

alex.....you are right. I do feel that sometimes I just give into the fear and anxiety and when I do that it takes over my whole body. I know it's so important to keep my head in the right place. Some days it's all just so scary though.

At any rate, today has been a much better day, physically and mentally. I don't know why, but I'll take it! And I pray that tomorrow is the same! I seem to be on a cycle of one good day and several bad days though. Hopefully that won't be the case tomorrow.