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Your story is such a sad one and I have so much compassion for you. Many hugs to you! I sure can relate my story is a bit like yours, just a little different. First off the best I can help you with is to share with you what worked for me. Definately take time to grieve, cry it out, all of it, the hurt feeling that built up , the anger, the loss of your mother, have a good cry. Then grab a hug from some one close to you who loves you, if you cant find one, I will send you a cyber hug! The next step is the hardest for some to take and some dont do this and it does and will eat at you forever until this is done. That is forgive... forgive your mom for not being the mom she should of been, forgive your brother for hurting you, forgive who ever you need to. Some times its hard to do this, but with out doing it it will weigh negative bad feelings and you will never be free of this burden until forgiveness takes place. this does not mean you have to do this to anyones face, just in your own private space say I forgive you, iI do not like what you did and may never agree, but I do forgive you. This will lift heavy weight off of you. Hold your head high and proud, no matter what your life was like. We are all equal, children of God we all live here with our own story and experiences to share and help each other. You are special and chosen! You are in my prayers and I pray you will be comforted soon. Many hugs to you,

Brenda We are always here for you!

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Miriam

I am so very sorry about your mother, i wish that there were somehting that I could do to take away and ease your pain.

But I know that it is a process that you must walk through.

I think that you should just show up to the service if you want to be there, be there, nobdy has the right to tell you that you can not be there.

I know that this is not the same thing thing, but 3years ago my father was not aloud to attend his mother funeral, due to a falling out with his mother, well he now regrets not going,

I think you should do what you heart tells you to do, for your own sake. Forget what your sibling has to say, this is for you, your closure, nobdy else's

Please please take care of your self, I know right now that it is hard, but you want to walk in that funeral home feeling strong, even though its got to be so tough for you.

Again I am so very sorry for your loss. please take care

Linda

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