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Ok...we Need A Clever Saying... So Tired Of Hearing This!!!


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I think we should all come up with a very clever saying that we can put on a Tshirt and wear to Doctors Appointments.......

If I hear..... "well you look good".......... one more time I'm going to SCREAM!!!!!!!!

Every time I hear that my Mother is with me and after we are out of ear shot of whoever said it, I turn to her and say, "REALLY???"

She says....... I think that's just the response people are comfortable with, or to try and make you feel better it's just automatic.

Maybe it's the lighting...... She says I don't look good to her, pale gray, black sunken eyes, pasty and sick..... How is that Good???

Last time it was at the Pharmacy, I turned and looked in the mirror......

If this looks good I would HATE to see what bad looks like.

Maybe that should be the saying....... "If THIS looks Good, I would hate to see what Bad looks like."

Or how about.......

"This is what chronic illness looks like"

Ok it needs to be more clever..... I'm all out of clever............ anyone???

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hmmmm, I don't know of a good one, I can't think it up right now! But I get sick of hearing that one too. I'm with you, "If this looks GOOD then I would hate to see what BAD looks like".

I'm also sick of hearing, "do you have any stress going on in your life, are you feeling anxious about anything????" Everyone always insinuating that we have anxiety issues and not a real illness.

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I prefer a simple "oh good, thats the look I was going for" or "yeah I try not to go out on the bad looking days" I know, for me, the people saying it are trying to be encouraging, or even trying to wrap their heads around my illness when they see me on good days. I don't think they could guess how it can be sometimes insulting.

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My friend who is really healthy, runs 2 miles everyday and has never had an operation or illness in his life, is actually really pale anemic looking and is always tired, i on the other hand have been sick for years, had lots of operations and daily pain, but i make sure i have a sun tan to hide my grey sucken eyes, i put my make up on each day and look healthy. My friend always jokes to me "i look sick but am bloody healthy, you look healthy but you are bloody sick"

I have to have a tan and have to put my make up on becuase if i didnt i could not handle looking in the mirror and looking as ill as i feel. I couldnt live each day.

I have however realised NEVER go to a Dr's appointment with make up on becuase they judge you on that, purely.

My old Prof actually said to me as i sat down for my consultation "you look trim"......What can you do!!!

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Ironic isn't it that I take so much of my energy on a "good" day to try to NOT look sick. So when people say "you look good" I either just say Thank You, or I say "We all know THAT's what matters" with my tongue firmly in cheek.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling really bad and they say that infamous sentence, I really want to say "anything less than a coma and being on a vent looks good to you, heh?"

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I've been saying "Well that's my silver lining to all this, at least I don't look sick!" Then I usually follow/up and say you know most people who are really sick don't look it, you can have cancer and not look sick until the chemo takes it's toll or the end is near.

It is funny how our society judges so much on how we look. Really, what is a sick person suppose to look like? Are our images of the sick only those in a wheel chair, on a gurney or someone that has lost weight, their hair or who has skin conditions? There are so many illnesses that you can just not see on the outside.

The sad thing about not looking sick is that it really delayed my diagnosis, even though doctors should know better the fact that I look younger then I am and that I have an upbeat personality, made it hard for them to take me seriously. Judgements made that she must have an anxiety disorder or was attention seeking was incredibly devastating every time I was blown off.

That may be why, when we actually finally get documentation that something is really wrong, that we are happy and feel validated. We are happy to know we are sick and not crazy! How crazy is that!!!!

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I feel kinda bad for getting irritated when people say "well you look good" because most of the time I think they are trying to be nice. So I just say thanks. :) In my head I just think if they only knew. The thing that really bothers me though, is when someone says it in a way that makes it sound like I'm faking or something. If she doesn't look sick she's not sick kind of thing. Here's what my shirt would say for people like that: don't let this gorgeous face fool you- I feel like crap. Lol

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Ok No offense PuppyLove............

Leave it to the "youngster" of the group to come up with the best phrase!!! What was that show.... "kids say the darndest things".

I LOVE it Puppy........ Gorgeous might be an over statement..... though I have noticed most of us with pictures on here aren't lacking in the good looks department, including yourself.

But even soooo add in the Gorgeous part and it adds an extra laugh factor.

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Thanks! :D The whole gorgeous thing is part of the joke, but it does sound kinda overly confident. Maybe "pretty" would be better for a T- shirt. :)

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"This is what chronic illness looks like" I like that one, because it's the truth.

They think you can't look like a regular person and have terrible symptoms to live with every day. We do our best to do what we can and look the best we can and our reward is insensitive comments.:( I had a doctor that used to say to me. Well, you can't be perfect. I'm like who said I wanted to be , I just want a life again!

I swear I'm not sure what that means when they say "you look good". Are they trying to say I look good so I should feel that way? Or I must be exaggerating? Plus I don't' look good a lot of the time. I think wow, they'd think I was gorgeous if they saw me when I felt good.LOL And really, why would I care about how I look if I feel like crap?

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  • 6 months later...

I love everyone's ideas!

I agree this is the one thing that is so hard to hear and unfortunately it is almost a daily occurrence for most of us. Most of the time I just say thank you, or the "wonderful powers of make up" ; ) but it does get harder and harder especially when having a really bad day. I think for me, my slogan would be "this in my pretty sick face" and then maybe on the back "this is what an invisible illness looks like" : )

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