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When Is It Time To Take A Break?


hholmes13
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My situation at work continues to get worse. I can barely get through the days anymore. I've started feeling so bad that I've contemplated going to the ER many times but hesitate because I know it probably won't help all that much. I start PT in a few weeks mostly for the EDS, but if it does help POTS I'm assuming that it will take awhile to do so. I have like 3 months worth of STD I can use at 100% pay. I've been holding out to try and help my boss through this tough time. (We've got a bunch of big grants that need to go out in the next few months.)It's come at a huge detriment to my own health. It's freaking me out how quickly I've deteriorated. I haven't had a "good" day in over 2 months. I'm talking with supervisors about taking a medical leave to try and recover and looking into what I have to do to make that happen. I feel guilty though...I keep wondering if I am "sick enough". My husband is constantly grilling me telling me to take the leave and put myself first. I've tried slowing down at work, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. Plus, there's just always too much to do and I'm not good at telling people "No I can't".

I realize this is a judgement call and in the end I have to figure it out...I just thought I'd ask for some advice on what others would do.

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In my experience trying to push through when you start to hit that wall just makes this illness so much worse.....for almost 4 years I kept trying to persevere and work until my body finally made the decision for me last May when I ended up hospitalized and had full system crash :( ..... I understand completely where you are coming from....I had a very high stress job in a cancer clinic and I also could never say no and knew I had people always depending on me....its why I held out for so long.....but I also ignored all the warning signs my body was trying to give me. In hindsight I wish I had have listened I may not have ended up as sick as I am and now completely disabled........ I guess my advice is try not to ignore your body...if you are having more bad days then good it may be time to give your body a break to rest :) ...... your health and well being is important!!! Big hugs!

Bren

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As a graduate student, I can totally relate to your work situation. I have a hard time slowing down, but that is the only thing that helps my symptoms! Can you work from home? I can log in to my work computer from home and that helps a ton.

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I agree, it's good to leave before a big crash happens. I also ignored my bodies messages with regards to work and I crashed - hospitalized and have been housebound ever since. Now that I'm out of it, I realize fully what a toll it was taking on me (good job helping others, but wrong one for someone with my dedication level). I cared too much and took on too much.

I totally understand the feelings of guilt and the difficulty in saying no. I never said no when asked for help or to take on a new project and I am really paying the price for that right now, meanwhile my coworkers are out there enjoying their lives.

Do whatever you feel is right for you. It sounds like you have a good set up with your STD with 100% pay. Take care of yourself first!

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Since they already know you are feeling so bad and considering going on medical leave, they might be receptive to reducing your hours each day? I did that back in 2006 and it helped somewhat. I went from ~ 45 hours per week to 27, so it was only 5.5 per day. I had to wrap up most of my projects first and we handed over some of my duties to others, since I couldn't be expected to still do my full job in only 5.5 hours a day. That might be a good way to transition towards a medical leave? I ended up quitting completely when we moved 2.5 hours away for my husbands job, even though I could've worked from home, and I felt so much better after about 5-6 months of physical and mental rest. (until a mega relapse when I got pregnant in 2010!). Good luck in whatever you decide.

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Thanks for the advice everyone. Unfortunately I can't work from home. Most of my job involves scientific equipment that I can't work with at my house. I have done things like place orders and proof papers and such, but there's no way to officially do it from home. I almost went down at work today and barely made it home after just a few hours of being there. I've tried scaling back over the past 2 weeks and I continue to decline. I think it's clear to me now...my body needs a break. I don't want to do permanent damage. I'm going to start working toward getting things set for leave for awhile and try to recover. I want to focus on PT and getting myself feeling less sick. I have hit a wall and can't do this anymore. Once I'm on leave, I'm going to look at my options to transfer to a job with less stress and being on my feet. I think it's best for me for the long run and also better for my boss. As much as i love working with my boss and coworkers...I think it's time for a change. I want something I can try to do long term with hopefully less issues.

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