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My friends have ditched me. I'm in homebound schooling full time now and they don't come over or even call. I'm so lonely but I'm kind of too preoccupied with POTS right now to try to have a social life. My friends are my dogs and my family and my cardiologist. That's kind of pathetic. And of course everybody on this website :), but obviously its not the same. And it's kind of upsetting that I'm just gone with some rare illness and they don't seem to notice/ care. Is it just my friends or did this happen to everybody?

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My friends have ditched me. I'm in homebound schooling full time now and they don't come over or even call. I'm so lonely but I'm kind of too preoccupied with POTS right now to try to have a social life. My friends are my dogs and my family and my cardiologist. That's kind of pathetic. And of course everybody on this website :), but obviously its not the same. And it's kind of upsetting that I'm just gone with some rare illness and they don't seem to notice/ care. Is it just my friends or did this happen to everybody?

Now that I'm out of college I'm in the same situation. In a way I needed college to give my mind a break from POTS.

Friends are probably the most therapeutic thing you can have for yourself with this condition. If you are able, you should call them up because remember often times it's not that they don't want to hang out with you, it's just they get busy with their own lives that they don't think about hanging out. But I'm sure they'll be open to doing things with you, but you'll probably have to initiate it a lot. And there's nothing wrong with that.

I think you should try all you can to get out and socialize.

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I'm older than you but I think it kinda happens to everyone at first. You will be surprised at who is still around in your life. It is cliche but your true friends will come back around. I think a lot of time that God gave me this to deal with so I would cut out some of the junk in my life. And that included some of the people.

I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this but never underestimate the power of the internet. There is a whole world out there and now it is at your fingertips. I know that it is not the same but I am learning that there is another way of life if I can only find my place in it. You will find that place too. In the mean time, try to connect with some friends by maybe having a movie night at home. You might be surprised by who takes you up on it.

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Yeah it is kinda sad when you have to cancel prettymuch all your social activities for extended periods. I know the feeling. Some of my friends have disappeared over the years but to be honest I dont really care that much. I didnt have the energy working full time with POTS to spend time with them anyway.

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I know how it is from how things have been with my son. I was really upset because like you say, no one was texting, coming around. I did talk to the youth group director and the mom of some girls in his youth group and that next week he started getting some calls and visits. Up till then we had just been mad and frustrated but it is true that I think your friends maybe don't know quite what to do so maybe you do need to have an open discussion with them and tell them what YOU want and need from your friends. Teens have very, very short attention spans so don't be surprised if you have to be the one to keep up the contacts. We wish people would just be compassionate and know, but truth is most people need to be asked.

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It does seem that we gravitate to those who understand us more. I know when I'm having really bad spells of POTS, I'm always back here on the site talking. We tend to feel more comfortable with those who can understand what we're going through. It's easy to have friends that we just talk with on the computer - it doesn't take as much effort. But, to have close to the heart friends - you have to develop those face-to-face. It does take effort on our parts - but, is very important. I have lots of friends that surround me and I love all of them. They know my limitations and don't expect more from me than I can give. They know me so well that they can just take a look at me and know what the day is. People ask me - how are you. My answer is always "I'm just fine". One of my friends knows when I'm stretching the truth and has started correcting my statements. LOL - it's nice when someone knows you that well and loves you and can read you. Try to develop those type of relationships with people - don't rely just on your associates from here (although some of you are just as important to me as those who are physically around me) because it is very important to have that sense of belonging with this stress in our lives that we have to daily live with. Reach out, honey, there are people out there that will love and appreciate you for whatever you have to give - you will make a difference in someone else's life. They are just out there waiting to discover you.

Issie

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Thanks everybody- you guys are so nice. :) Sometimes I just get in to this feeling sorry for myself mode- not good I know. But thanks for the new perspective. I'm going to call them tommrow.

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THIS is a time in your life when you find out who your real friends are ~ I pray that you will be better and be able to join your friends again. Maybe it's a time to try to draw, paint, or learn something new. There is so much to learn online for free. Each day is a gift, open it with excitement and see what you can do even if it's only from your bed. One potsie friend and I send positive affirmations to each other and it's so uplifting. I collect quotes and like to post them around the house or write them on the bathroom mirror.

Puppy love you are so nice !

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My son lost all of his friends, but one.. his best friend from kindergarten. That friend checks in via phone a couple of times a week and stops by occassionally. He went from being an extremely popular kid to living the life of a hermit. He plays a lot of on line games and xbox live to have outside contacts.

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It's not just you. I'm 58 and use to have 3 really close friends, one of which was job-sharing partner for 15 years and the other my sister-in-law who was my roommate in college. At first, my friends use to call to check on me, but as the weeks turned into months and the months turned into years, they rarely call now. In a way, I can't blame them. I don't have much to add to the conversation because I'm on disability so I don't work and I have so many different illnesses that I'm literally bedridden most days of the week. I don't want to bore them with my health issues, but right now, that is my life and I don't have too many other things to talk about. I'm like ramantenkesh in that right now it doesn't bother me much that my friends don't call much because, I'm just too sick to talk most days, much less try to socialize!

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I'm in the same boat as so many of you. I actually moved to a new city shortly before I got sick, so I didn't have a chance to meet anyone outside of work, and now that I've left my job, I don't really know anyone in the area. I hope I can keep in touch with my friends from work, but as others said, it's so hard when I don't have the energy to be good company, and I'm so unreliable about making plans because I never know how I'm going to feel. I'm lucky to have a husband who's my best friend and I have some family just a couple of hours away at least, but my social life is pretty nonexistent otherwise. Maybe we should all start a book club or something so we have something we can all do socially together from a distance. :)

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Same with me. No one stays around. Every once in a while I'll get a message from a "friend" but that's about it.

I've been sick since I was 12 and its really hard going through high school without friends. I was always asking myself if it's because in wierd and unlikable or because I am sick?

I don't know the answer?

I just know it's hard. then, when I did  force myself  to go somewhere everyone stared at me like I  had two heads!! 

The the few that had the courage to talk to me OR I had the courage to talk to them seemed to  be amazed that I was a normal person and was interested in all the same kinds of things.

Now in my 20s people my age seems to get that I'm just like they are even though I have an illness but it doesn't mean I have friends again.  But a lot  people from HS still are standoffish if they see me.

I think people get busy with their own lives and just forget about us and our struggles. It may not always be on purpose or to be hurtful.  But it sure does feel it to us doesn't it?

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Most of us are in the same boat. Most of my friends at first thought i was making all this up or that my breast implants is causing my illness, even though i got sick 5 years before the implants and it was all well documented. So, i didn't have any friend support.... and i really still don't. I have maybe 1 close friend who i can talk to, but she is very social as well. So, everyone i know is in the social scene and i unfortunately am just too sick to be social. The bright side to my ordeal is that i tend to be a loner and i really like it that way... i hate talking on the phone and i hate going out in crowds plus it exhausts me beyond words could describe. I don't even like visitors, and honestly can count of only about 5 times in the past 12 years have i had someone over. I love my peace and quietness way too much i guess.

Every now and again i get the urge to really wanna get out, but im just always too sick. But i do feel like i miss out on so much though. Im 34 and have never been to a bar, club, dancin or girls night out...... ever. I'd like to experience it just once though. I just went to my first concert a week and a few days ago and i have been bedridden since.... it took that much out of me..... and well , now im in a major huge flare up. So, i know that it just takes a whole heck of alot out of me when i go out..... so it's rare that i do.

so sorry you are lonely dear. You really do find out who your real friends are in situations like this, something, if which im thankful for.... to weed out the ones we don't need to waste our time with. Hopefully you will feel up to getting out soon :) I do hate being boxed up in a house everyday...... and i do miss the outside world myself.

Hugs to you!!!

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Same for me... don't feel like my friends and i can be close with all of this POTS stuff going on but it is getting better becasue I try to have people over every other week to watch movies and talk. It's hard because I always feel like I'm struggling to stay in the loop with all of them and that I always have to be the one to invite them instead of them every inviting me.

BellaMia- I post positive comments all over the place too! Sometimes it feels like it is the only thing that keeps me going!

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I think it is hard to have friends when even some members of our families don't understand this illness and they see us on good days and on days we can't get out of bed.

As Ramakentesh posted, I have no energy after work to go out with anyone. Movie night at home is a great idea for some. I have made a super quiet and peaceful place at home; I like being alone; I love to read and noise and crowds are too much for me.

I really like the idea of a movie night though. For me, that might happen once every few months! lol Because I always think I will feel okay, then cancel plans because I feel exhausted just breathing; I doubt that anyone would believe I would actually have a movie night.

If I have pets; internet and books, I am content. I do realize now, that even though I was passing out at 5 yrs old; I have had illnesses that seemed to increase all the issues of dysautonomia. I see I retreated to my quiet living quarters and quarantined myself from noise and crowds. But this works for me as it seems to HilBiligirl.

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no real friends or social life here eighter. they dont understand good and bad days or if i had to go home early yo lay down...i have a couple of true friends now that can deal with me..

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My friends sent me valentines today!:) A social life is what you do to interact with people. This website is my social life. ;)

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I think most teenagers are so totally self absorbed that they really would be the rare exception if they made the effort to stay in touch with you. Pretty much "out of site, out of mind" in my experience. I know when my daughter had a major surgery at 14 and was out of school for months, her friends came to see her in the hospital but very few followed up with her after that. She made the effort to stay in touch with them though and that helped a lot.

My kids all had issues at times with making friends (evey time they had to change schools etc) but the advice of "in order to have friends you have to be a friend" helped them. i.e they usually had to make the effort to initiate the friendships and fan the flames of the friendship a lot. Like I said, it's probably not that your friends don't care about you, but that if you aren't right there in front of them, they tend to

"forget" about you because they are so absorbed in their own lives, issues, problems etc. Think that's just human nature in general, but particularily obvious with teens.

That being said, since you are sick, you may find that you don't have the energy for a lot of friendships. I remember my dad telling me (long before I was sick) that if you have 1or 2 truly good friends in a lifetime you'll be really lucky. Most people are just "acquaintances" and those relationships definitely won't stand up to this kind of chronic illness. So you may need to look thru your "friends" and see which ones are the ones that likely will be "good friend" worthy and put whatever energy you have into those friendships.

So sorry you're having these additional challenges at your age. It's hard enough being a teen without having to deal with this misery on top of it.

Sending you lots of hugs!

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Hillbillygirl, with all of us it's the LOVE BOAT ~ How are you my gigglie girlfriend? :lol::D ~ We must have a laugh fest later on here everyone ~

giggles and love,

Bellamia ;{)

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