MomtoGiuliana Posted January 29, 2005 Report Share Posted January 29, 2005 StaceySo sorry for all you and your family are going through. It is so stressful when a family member is ill and even more so when the care is not evenly shared.I wouldn't worry about corrupting your 3 year old niece with an afternoon of television! She has your love and a comforting place to be when she can't be with a parent, that is most important.Hope that your dad continues to stabilize. Take care of yourself. You are in my thoughts this weekend!!Katherine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mary from OH Posted January 29, 2005 Report Share Posted January 29, 2005 Stacey-Don't worry about venting!! You need it! Just plop down next to your niece with a magazine or something and enjoy the rest!! If she's actually stationary, that's a good thing!! (I can say that because I have a 5 year old whose nickname is the Energizer Bunny!!)Take care and I hope your father continues to make progress!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyYount Posted February 11, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 Hey,Well she had to take him back again tonight. He just got out of the rehab place on Monday. They never tested if the infection was truly gone. He got home so weak he could barely stand. Then last night he spiked another fever and got diarhea(sp?). And fell again. She called his doctor and the receptionist told her that everyone was to busy. So Mom called the paramedics and he is back in the er. Do any doctors or hospitals have any idea how to take care of anybody. I am so sad and so frustrated and so tired. On top of it Jim has kidney stones, I crashed way way down from the last week of my dad being in the hospital and now he is back. I just needed to reach out to you guys. This is so hard and I am so tired and so sick and you know selfish as it may seem I hurt so much and this is really getting to be to much for me. I will rally but how do you cope with your own illness and pain adn then try to be there for your wonderful husband and then try and be there for your mohter who has just been through **** and how do you take how awful it is for my father to have to go through all this. And since everyone is so consumed with all this and their own lives you guys are the ones I have to to cry to so forgive this but i needed a big yell. And maybe some cyberhugs!Stacey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackwolf Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 stacy,if you don't mind, i'll start the Lord's Prayer and let you all finish:Our father, who art in heaven,....Amen.. I hope you start to get that calming feeling soon.blackwolf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mary from OH Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Stacey}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}Lots of cyberhugs sent your way!! I know, it's so hard to be so strong for everyone when you feel like crap yourself. I think a lot of people with POTS are like this!! Maybe thats why we have/get it!!! We DO TOO much!!! Be there for your mom and dad, but make sure you take time out every day for YOU!! I know it's hard. Stay on top of the drs. Raise $%^& about him STILL having the infection. Go to the highest person you can find. Talk to administration. That will get people working, believe me. Be polite, explain what happened to your father and also your medical situation. Explain that they are putting multiple lives in danger by not taking care of your father and you NEED them to take care of them. Contact his insurance company and see if you can get someone from there to intercede for you.Most of you, I just wanted to give you big hugs and remind you to relax when you can and VENT when you need to!! Eat and DRINK!!!!!!! Take care of yourself and I'll pray for your dad and family!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tearose Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 Hugs and peace to you and your family!It is so hard. It is unbelievable that people are treated in a such a way. We want the medical folks to care for our loved ones and get them well. We want the peace of mind knowing that someone gets "the whole picture"! Please go to administration and get help!Your whole family seems to rely on you so be sure to do what you must to replenish your own needs too! TV, a nap, a bubble bath...cookies... Hang in there and when you need to yell, come here!best wishes, tearose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steph37822 Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 oops Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MightyMouse Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 Oh man, that really stinks. I'll be thinking good thoughts and hope your dad bounces back quickly from this one.nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernie Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 Hi Stacey,I am so sorry about all what is happening to you and your family. I am praying for you and sending you big hugs.Ernie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merrill Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 I'm so sorry, Stacey. You guys have had such a tough go lately! My heart goes out to you and your family--it really does. I'll keep thinking good thoughts,Merrill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyYount Posted February 11, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 You know you guys are really the greatest! You all brought tears to my eyes but it is becuase I know you are there and I know how you struggle and that you help me is just the greatest. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.I will keep you posted. I think it is probably a super infection from the other infection and the strong anti biotics. Mom went in there with that and the doctor said to her how do you know about that and she said I have a biologist for a son-in-law and a smart daughter!Anyway off to try and sleep now.You guys give me strength to fight on and it means so muchThank you!Stacey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avais1 Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 You poor thing! I have been reading all of the posts. What a hard thing to go through. A few years ago, I went through something similar. You are a strong person from what I gather from the posts, but even the strong need help and support. We are here for you. My prayers and thoughts are with you tonight. Keep us posted, and God Bless you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tearose Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 Hi Stacey,I hope this is not a super infection! I pray he is responding to the new medications.I hope too that you were able to get that sleep you need so badly.continued prayers and hugs, tearose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnA Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 Cyberhugs to you! I am sorry things are not going so good for your father. I will pray that he recovers soon.Dawn A Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyYount Posted March 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 Sorry need to vent about this again because it is still going on but I really really really can't handle this. Lets see last I told you I think was that it was a super infection. Well they got iv antibiotcs that started to be clear it up and of course moved him to rehab again. After many bad days and a long story, a blood transfusion and another UTI they finally said they were going to release him. Of course my parents had planned on moving up closer to my sister and about 45 mins from me. That happened while dad was still at the center. Got Mom moved with many trails and her having a pretty major melt down. Got him moved that next Wednesday. Called to change his insurance since we could not do it before that and they told us that it would not be until April 1st. He still has coverage down south but can only see urgent care or go to the er. Now we are not even sure the infection is gone yet. No doctor in his new city will see him as a self pay. They took him to 2 separate urgent care facilities and they would not see him. So now he is coming over to see a partner in my primary docs practice as a self pay. We need to make sure that he is infection free though I really think not. My mom is losing it, my 84 year old Gran has helped but she is exhausted and had to have cataract surgery. my sister has a new job that is so demanding that it sometimes takes 2 hrs for you to call back and she is now saying she can't be a second caregiver. They all call me and complain and say I don't know what to do. What am I suppose to do I can't even get out of the house. We had it set up so that my sweet husband would go with them this morning to the doctor but then Mom had crisis and could not drive him over. So Stef is taking off work and they will go this afternoon while I watch my 3 year old niece (that is a happy thing!!) I am sooooooooooo tired and disgusted and frustrated and I can only hope that today something will happen. The thing is is that the main one we have to be concerned about it Dad and I just can't believe we can't get him to a doctor without making him travel 45 minutes. And now they will have to pay out of pocket. Help I am drowning!!! I mean just this morning I have been on the phone at least 5 times with my mom and sister. My mom is now really really mad at me because I was not sympathetic enough this morning to her. She felt like she could not drive him and said that he was to dizzy and she had hurt her foot. I said ok well we will just have to reschedule. She is says I need help and he may have to wait until April 1. I basically said he can't and then I guess I was making her feel guilty and not being considerate enough of her. She can't handle this, he is to sick, my sister can't, it goes on and on. We have to get him into some kind of facility or some doctor that will look at the whole picture but that is another story, I just want to get him through to April 1st if we can.HELP!! Sorry I know again this is off topic but I just needed to vent. Oh yeah on top of it Thursday I have to get 2 crowns and maybe a root canal!WOOHOO!Everyone in my family is so busy venting to me and looking to me for advice and then not following that advice that I needed to vent to you guys. Sorry.Just send a little prayer or thought that we can get him stable at home until his new insurance kicks in ,that my mom gets strength, that my sister is able to help more and that I can handle this. All these smilies are how I feel. Maybe my niece will make me Thanks and sorry again!Stacey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tearose Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 I am so sorry for the numerous things you are dealing with..all seem heavy.Please keep up with your own responsibilities to your personal needs first!I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Take it easy dear.best regards, tearose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geneva Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 Stacey, I am sorry that you continue to have so much stress in your life. I would guess that one of the reasons your family looks to you is that you have been so strong in managing your own illness and they probably feel inadequate and/or overwhelmed at this time. Not that that is any reason to put so much on you of course. I hope the next couple of weeks there are answers for your dad but please do remember to take the time for yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morgan617 Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 Stacey, so sorry your dad is sick again. If you have the energy, I'd insist on him coming home with long term antibiotics. If his infection is chronic, it takes a long time to get rid of it. Lots of people go home with special IV's and the family can give the meds, so he wouldn't have to stay in there forever. My thoughts and prayers are with you! morgan p.s. I mean when he's better of course Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mary from OH Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 {{{{Stacey}}}}-I was wondering how things were going!! I was hoping that no news was good news. I guess not! Never apologize for needing to vent!! We're always here for you!! I pray that the insurance stuff gets straightened out quickly. I know that can be a royal pain. Also for strength for all of your family - you, your hubby, your sister, your mom, and mostly your dad!! And I pray for healing for you dad and wisdom for his drs.Take care of yourself and try to remember not to get too stressed out. Try to remind all the family members that you're all doing your best and that you need to work as a team. There is tremendous stress on everyone!!LOTS OF HUGS AND PRAYERS!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calypso Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 Stacey,Seems like ever since I got sick, anytime anyone else close to me is sick, they think I can help -- because I know what it's like. But they forget that I have reduced strength and capacity for stress. Try to remember they're leaning on you because they are forgetting about your limitations in physical strength/wellness but right now only see your mental strengths. I agree with Geneva that they are seeing how well you deal with your illness and navigate the health care system.You say you "really, really, really can't handle all this," but you ARE handling it. I catch myself saying this same thing a lot ... but I always manage to handle rough times. And you will, too. Have some faith in yourself and you'll be surprised at how much stress our bodies are able to handle.On the other hand, use your smarts to determine just how helpful you can be. Don't kill yourself trying to help others. Do what you can. But realize that if you're making yourself sicker, that it defeats the initial purpose.I wish you and your family strength and peace at this time.Amy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gena Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 Stacey,I pray that you will somehow find peace and solutions to these problems with your Dad and family members. I know this is so exhausting and nerve wracking for you.Perhaps your family needs to reach out to beyond the family circle for help right now. Are there any neighbors, churches or volunteer organizations in your area that you can call on? Perhaps they could provide transportation for you father's doctor appt. or provide some respite for a family member? I believe we have a local transportation service for seniors here in my area. You may call your local hopsice agency as well. Our hospice has a separate volunteer program for elderly people who are not hospice patients called Faith in Action. It allows them to help out the elderly, chronically ill, and homebound people - volunteers run errands, take them to dr. appts., get groceries for them, provide companionship,etc. I don't know, it's just a thought. It just sounds like all of your family is so stressed right now between the move and your dad's illness.You may want to try letting the answering machine take your calls for a while and meditate or do something relaxing to try and find some peace. I meditated last night for about 15 minutes while listening to some relaxing "mood" music. It was amazing how much better I felt afterward. I'll keep you in my prayers. Gena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jersey Girl Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 Stacey, so sorry to hear about your continued problems with your Dad. I am praying that things get better for you and your family. Martha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyYount Posted March 17, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 Thanks again! Your words support me and help me go on.Just a short post cause I am trying to get ready for the lovely dentist tomorrow.No real help taking Dad to local doctor just have to wait until April I guess.Thanks,Stacey Will post again after dentist recovery! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gena Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 You're in my prayers and I hope that your dentist appointment goes smoothly and painfree as possible. And remember, if your dentist isn't wearing green today (St. Patty's Day) you can always pinch the heck out of 'em! (And if he hurts you, then pinch him anyway, even if he is wearing green.) Take care and keep us posted.Gena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aprilmarie52 Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 bless your heart. that is a lot to go through all at once. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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