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Posted

I was feeling miserable after work and had to run into the grocery store. I have disability plates.

A large woman 'blocked' me on the sidewalk and confronted me about parking there. She was very rude and I couldn't get around her. She asked if I knew I parked in a disabled spot...I said yes, I have a disability. She went on that she doesn't see a placard....I said yes, because it's so bad I have PLATES.

She was really wild and obnoxious acting and I had to do everything to control my temper. What right does she have?

How do you even handle this, especially when someone gets physical and blocks your passage?

And then...when I left the store...someone was parked so close I barely wiggled in and got all wet and dirty as it was raining. I literally had to shimmy in and barely made it. It was so bad a fellow with MS said how rude people were to park up against a disabled spot like that. I am not sure...but it was likely that woman.

Still very upset, crying makes my POTS worse so I'm trying to hold it in. I'm barely hanging on with work and POTS and this just makes it worse.

Posted

Some people are just so rude. As far as how to handle the situation, I think you have to use discernment. It sounds like this woman was bound and determined to cause you trouble no matter what you said in return. This happened once to my mom, who has carcinoid syndrome but looks lovely on the outside. Stress unfortunately makes her quite sick as well, so she just tried to ignore the rude bystander and go about her shopping. There's nothing else you can do sometimes, but know that we understand that your need for disabled plates is a valid one.

If it seems like the person is at all teachable, you maybe can say something like "i have a heart condition." But usually in these circumstances, it's not worth out breath.

Posted

Thankful,

You've made me feel better. I am trying to just let it go. I don't think she was teachable...the blocking/physical behavior was overwhelming. I got away from her as quickly as possible (but I still think she parked close to make my getting out treacherous and I've pulled a muscle doing it!).

I suppose if they push it and call the police or something, I have my documentation. But I think I'd be very upset.

Posted

I am sorry this happened, it sounds stressful and no one needs that. She sounds like a bitter lady and that is her loss. I thought this story might help you out. The energy lady I work with said sometimes when people say things that really get to us, just say, "Thanks for sharing." And move on. I really liked it. Just let them say it and move on...leave them to dissect the situation. Keep on being your awesome, working self! : )

Posted

"You don't know anything about me ... and don't really need too" You need some kind of quote to give them so you can just say it and move on.

Brye

Posted

I have run into this attitude more than once. I don't drive anymore, my fiance does all the driving. I will freely admit to using my cane every time we go anywhere not necessarily because I need it, but because I don't need the grief or stares. Of course, wearing tops that expose my port/cath helps, too. It is really a hurtful and frustrating thing to have to declare your illness to an antagonistic stranger just for a parking spot. Gentle hugs your way Cat Lady!

Posted

I'm so sorry this happened. Your health problems are none of her business and she has no right to police the parking lot. I like the "thanks for sharing" quote! Also Brye's suggestion. I can see how it would help to have medical equipment along to demonstrate illness--sad though that anyone would feel pressured to do this when not necessary! grrr.

Posted

Would it be possible to get a placard for inside your vehicle? I know it's not necessary but that's what most people look for when checking to make sure drivers are supposed to park there. Even though a placard isn't needed because of your plates just the fact that it's there may stop people from hassling you about it.

On the plus side at least the lady was trying to stand up for the disabled having access to the space, although she totally blew it by bullying someone who actually deserved to be there!

You could either say nothing other than the fact that you are disabled and are entitled to park there, or you could just tell her that being on your feet too long causes you to faint and have seizures so unless she feels like witnessing an episode it's best to leave you alone! A little lie about the seizures but that's something scary that people recognize.

Anyway, it's all pretty stupid really as you're entitled to be there and you shouldn't have to defend yourself to anyone.

Posted

How timely! I was reading my local Sunday paper on Sunday, and in the letters to the editor, someone wrote a letter about handicapped carts in stores. It was written by a handicapped person, and they said they and another hand. person had to wait 40 minutes for someone to turn in one of the hand. shopping carts. The person got up off the cart and walked away. The person who wrote the letter said the two of them waiting looked at each other and made a comment that the cart user didn't look hand. to them!

I was furious at that point! The letter went on to say that the next cart, that she got, was a woman that stood up. Before she walked away, the writer asked the lady if she was hand. The women said she was just too tired to walk the store. So, to end the letter, the writer went on to rant that carts should be only be used by truly handicapped people! This person even called these people "lazy".

I already have a "thing" about using the carts, as I feel people look at me and think how I look fine. Yea, I know, I need to work through that and get over it. So, reading this really set me back! I think of the woman that even said she was just too tired to walk the store and, you just don't know, she could have a severe case of anemia.

I already have a family that thinks I'm a hypochondriac and probably lazy. And, to think of the amount of people that read this letter, this just reinforces their thoughts on people like us.

Posted

It's the whole "but you don't look sick" problem. We've all been there - unfortunately even with people close to us, let alone strangers. You handled the siutation beautifully - calmly, respectfully. I'm sure she felt dumb once she realized. More {{gentle hugs}} to you. :)

Posted

Is there something you can flash like a drivers license that is the handicapped documentation.

I don't think I'd say a word if I had an i.d. I'd flash it and go if they tried to hassle me I'd request security and maybe the bully would think twice about hassling anyone again.

I get easily upset too and would not deal well with a big aggressive woman blocking my path.

I've encountered one two many of them in my life already and it's just not worth it.

Posted

I do have documentation but I feel that's private and only for the police to see. In fact, it even says it is to be kept in my vehicle and shown to law enforcement on request. That's fair, and I would. They are just doing their job. But it wasn't her job to be the police especially when she didn't even take a second to look at my clearly marked plates.

I do have a placard for other people's cars when I am in them...but there have been thefts of those in our State recently so it's recommended you use plates for normal use.

I just think I ran into a rude person at the wrong time. The worst part was the blocking and aggression. The not looking sick thing is hard to deal with, but boy, I feel it!

Posted

I feel your pain. The other day on my way home from work on the Ohio Turnpike, I made a stop in the service plaza to go to the bathroom. Being on Midodrine and keeping hydrated, I need to stay close to the bathroom. I was coming out of the bathroom and headed to go out of the plaza. I always use the handicapped entrance because I am slow to walk and there is a bench just inside the door which I have had to use on several occasions. I hit the button and low & behold a man holding a cell phone came through the door right into my face and yelled at me, "You don't look handicapped." He than flew past me and headed off in another direction. I just stood there, stunned and with tears running down my face. Another gentleman said to me, "How dare he say that to you. Are you are right?" I composed myself and thanked the gentleman for being concerned. I held my head high and walked out to my car that was parked in a handicap spot-I have a placard. It is sad that we a judged by the way we look outwardly yet dying inside. Hugs to you and all for what we endure with this disease.

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