Journey through the POTSholes

[Eillyre]

Dear friends,

During a long talk last night with one of my older brothers, I ended up sharing the perks of this whole POTS experience for me. I've had my portion of down times, but I've really enjoyed the time I've been able to spend living with my parents again, watching and listening to them, learning from their wisdom. I've also grown in so many ways, making new discoveries about myself and changing some of the unpleasant attributes I've unearthed in the process. I just wondered if any of you would be willing to share some of the things you've learned through your own struggles with POTS or pearls of wisdom you've accrued over the years. Subject matter is up to you.

It's late and my brain is rather foggy at the moment, but I thought I'd start off by mentioning two things of the things that I've noticed in my life these last 8 months.

1. I'm so very much more than my career. I realized after I stopped dancing just how much I thought of myself primarily as a dancer and identified myself in terms of strength, grace, endurance, creativity in crafting a role, etc. All that in of itself is fine, but I've enjoyed re-discovering some of my other qualities that had been relegated to the cobwebby corners of my mind.

2. God is my rock, my faithful friend, the masterful architect of my life. I'm sorry to say that while things were looking up, I started to really depend more on myself than on God. He's been through this whole mess with me from before its start, even when I would start to push Him into the back seat. It's such a comfort to know that He's with me every frustrating medical call I make and is there to dry every tear I cry. He knows where this is all leading to -- He's got a plan for my life more exquisite than I could ever design.

I'd love to hear anything you've got to say!

Thanks all!

With love,

Angela

[MomtoGiuliana]

Angela

Thanks for sharing this. POTS has been a profound experience for me too. Definitely humbling. I am sharply aware of my own mortality in a way I wasn't before. Times when I feel "well"/"normal" now (which is more and more frequent these days) feel like gifts. I pay a lot more attention to being in the moment and to details of the moment--whatever it is I am doing, mundane though it may be. To sum it up--I don't take some things for granted that I might have in the past. I have a new kind of compassion for the "disabled" among us.

I have to say too that being involved in this forum has helped me to deal with my fears and has helped me to process what happened to me and also given me tools that I know will help, should I have any future health crises, not to mention, simply, for life's challenges in general. There are so many excellent role models here.

Katherine

[Melach]

Angela and Katherine, I can very much relate to much of what you are saying. I think the biggest thing I have learned is what really is important in a day to day sort of way. Instead of being such a perfectionist and making sure that every little trivial thing is in place, I'm happy just being able to get to work or be with my kids.

The other big thing that pots has taught me is to be more accepting and aware of other people's disabilities and conditions. Even if I can't directly relate I am much more sympathetic and understanding of sickness than I used to be; even in strangers. Also, instead of being frightened (or worse, dismissive) of friends' or family's illnesses I like to think of myself as someone who can be a support.

Ayelet

[Guest tearose]

Dear Angela,

There are times my words come easily and there are times it is a struggle. I have wanted to answer your questions since yesterday and I just can't seem to pull it together.

For just an outline, here are some of my thoughts..

The potshole for me has been both the highest high and my lowest low. It is where I am quiet, introspective, all alone, in darkness and also closest to enlightenment. I have also recently been there with my friends...so it is changing.

I feel good climbing my way out but never regret having been there.

I think in a kabbalistic/mystical/spiritual way, it has been a place I reconnect with my soul's purpose in this life.

That's the best I can do for you, in this moment. lovingly, tearose