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Guest humanb4monitor

This Isn't Funny:

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Guest humanb4monitor

Shaken and stirred and THIS IS BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN TOO ALONE FOR TOO LONG AND MIXED WITH EVERYTHING.........

In the last couple years, but this last year, I have been miffed at burning stuff, not watching, short term memory a LOT etc. I was weary so pulled the drapes and layed down on the couch bout 6:15.

Restless. Body wiped but restless. My morning was sad but I was able to move this afternoon. I got up shortly thereafter (it is 7pm EST) and went in to the kitchen and 1 of my burners had been ON HIGH for nearly 2 hours. :o

This is a lifetime of NO $%#^&*@ sleep in stage 3+4 and all this CRAP (sorry) and I am angry and scared and alone. :(:(:(:(:(

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I freaked out one day when I accidentally left my car running.

This was prePOTS but very busy mom with a full time job and babies to take care of.

I got home from wherever and rushed in the house-seems I was always in a rush.

Went out later maybe 20-30 minutes to realize the car was still running in park.

I wondered where my mind went and got that freaked out feeling at the same time.

I guess we need to just be glad we're okay.

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Guest humanb4monitor

I have been really shaken and DEPRESSED since this event. Like the darkest darkness is on it's way back. It was here big this year already. I am nuthin.'

I can't do nuthin.'

I need a concert so I can close my eyes...shut up and dance. And I need my TENT. I need silence and earth. Moon and stars and the places I am safest. That is NOT A MALL!

Thanks ((Leize)) and everyone. This place has grown and evolved and become very sacred over the years I was not around. I am sad. :o

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Hi Human,

I so feel your pain. I too know the despair of loneliness and just wanting some human comfort.In some ways,, we are similiar. I divorced when i was getting sick, had to move out of my dream home into a place that I hate, both of my daughters moved out and the neighbors here aren't friendly.

Most of my friends have deserted me, since they haven't a clue as to what is wrong with me. i long for the old me. This isn't the way i chose to be and feel that I am being punished.

I've been reading your posts and your writing is amazing. Please don't sell yourself short.

For me, loneliness is the worst part of this illness. Along with the brainfog. Last week i actually walked around looking for the phone and couldn't find it anywhere. it was in my hand the whole time!!!!! Talk about being scared!

Everyone on the Forum is wonderful. Caring, compassionate and truly lifesavers.

So glad you joined!

if you ever want to talk, please feel free to pm me.

Rene

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Duh! I am really out of touch with reality!

I wanted to take a picture cannot find my camera anywhere, so husband has a nice big digital camera that looks like a 35 mm camera? The type that you attach the lenses too? Well so I'm trying to take a picture. I figure out how to put my card in and how to turn it on but I'm looking at the screen and it's not showing me my pic! I'm like how do you see what you're taking a picture of but I realize if I depress the shutter it does take the picture I just cut it in half then duh next I realize you have to look through the viewfinder.

I get the dense award of the day!!!!!!!!!!

I have just been out of touch with reality for too long.

I couldn't even remember how to buy 35 mm film or put it in a camera. DUH!

Can anyone top that today.

C'mon make me feel better.

Hey at least I did figure it out and I was afraid to slap myself on the head cause I might of dropped the camera and then I'd really be in trouble!

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Not today but I did back out of the garage without opening it. "DUH!" My husband said "didn't you notice it was a bit dark?" 900$ later we had a whole new garage door. Talk about a DENSE MOMENT!!

Brye

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My sons (and I have to admit even I) have left burners on and they are totally competent.

My x husband used to leave burners on and the stove on and he has OCD so he should triple check those kind of things.

One son backed into the closed garage door and he had 3 people in the car who didn't seem to notice it wasn't open????

I have some friends who come and play cards with me. When I tell them some of the things I forget, they have even better stories of forgetting things and they are all healthy, and working.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Most people forget things. I set a timer no matter what I have on the oven/stove or I space it out. Sometimes when the timer goes off I can't remember what is cooking.

I find it hard not to feel isolated from the normal world with this illness. My only friends are those who don't care if I cancel things at the last minute and who will pick me up to go places. Still, I wish I had a best friend who was always there for me. I feel your frustration.

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I have been really shaken and DEPRESSED since this event. Like the darkest darkness is on it's way back. It was here big this year already. I am nuthin.'

I can't do nuthin.'

You are not nothing. You are stronger than most. If you're still dreaming, still functioning, still living- ON YOUR OWN I might add- through this horrible nightmare, you have been through and accomplished more than many people. You are not nothing. You are a victor in this battle even if it doesn't feel like it.

Oh yes, and countless times I have left in a fog and come back to find that I look like a crazy person! Hair allllllll over the place, clothes on backwards, different shoes. Once I even almost left for class without a shirt on!! Yeah... that would have been interesting!

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