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Docs Vs. Dating...


firewatcher
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Finding a new doc is worse than dating! But very similar because you are looking for someone to trust with your life, possibly for a very long time!

Why finding a doc is WORSE than dating:

Because you don't know what they will be like until you get there

.......but they KNOW about you because they have your records!

Because you don't know if after the first meeting if you'll ever see them again

.......either of you could think the other is a nut!

Because sometimes, the first time the doc sees you, you are in a paper gown with only your underwear on

.......generally you don't get to that point till farther down the dating path (hopefully never! :lol: )

Because they can say nasty, hurtful things about you and it carries more weight

.......AND totally effects what your next doc/date thinks!

Because those new patient appointments are bleeping hard to schedule

.......it takes months, no matter what! By then, you might need a different type of doctor!

Because you are trying to find someone to talk to who will listen, believe you, and make you feel better

.......your date can pretend, but your doc has to actually do it!

Because this guy/gal in the white coat across from you is supposed to take care of you and your very life

.......after 15 minutes in his office and nothing to go on but paperwork!

Because the doc may be totally HOT, hot, HOT!

........but you have to try to talk (through the blushing) about your rash, or whatever. Or worse, the tachycardia made worse by the fact he's HOT!

Because even IF the two of you hit it off, spend years successfully treating your condition and getting to know one another,

.......they still aren't your friend, they are your doctor, and it is only a professional relationship.

Because they really want to know how you feel, and they NEED to know how you feel,

.......but they honestly don't emotionally care about it.

did I miss anything?

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Is ANYTHING worse than a first date??? Mind you, it's been ages since I last dated... I think I secretly married my sweet hubby to get out of the dating scene- not a ringing endorsement :-), but he is pretty fab after all of these years.

I HATE seeing a new doc for the first time. My medical history's almost embarrassing- I've had so many (seemingly unrelated) things go wonky. I know many here can relate. I feel like new docs look at me suspiciously- like I choose any of this!!! Puhleeze.

Unless I have an unbearable new symptom, I avoid physicians like the plague. For a while, I was seeing my internist in the hospital (via ER admissions,) more than in his office :-) The most important thing to me (from a doc or a partner,) is to be treated with respect. My doctor doesn't have to know it all, but s/he does have to be open to learning with me. My favorite docs are smart, competent, current, respectful, and open-minded.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Timely post.

I really have to go looking for a new general practioner. my one is next to hopeless. And thinks I'm crazy. I can tell. He's not fooling me.

But the thought of having to form a working relationship with a new doctor -- after spending time finding that new doctor -- is absolutley overwhelming.

My current gp is male. I'm wondering, being female myself, if it would help if I saw a woman.

blue ;)

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I have actually found many female docs to be quite catty. ;) Men are hardwired to "fix things," and if you find a good doc, that works in your favor. I've never been the touchy-feeley type....give it to me straight and make sure it is correct. I do have a couple women docs and they seem more concerned about how I'm "doing with all this," instead of whatever is CAUSING "all this." I don't think they'd take well to me saying: "Honey, I've got plenty of girl friends, you just stick to your job!"

I did find a cardiologist (I think.) He was blunt, honest and explained things well, touching on every strange lab result before I mentioned it. When I mentioned that my kidney doc said my S Creatinine was probably high due to increased muscle mass, he gave me one of those up and down, male-appraisal looks and simply said: "ah, I don't think so." I did not mind at all. Men have instincts too, and they are also hardwired to detect health/fertility in women, so as long as they are willing to actually admit it and use it rationally to make health decisions (and not to make advances) I don't mind at all. I am extremely old fashioned and like my men to act like men (barring the club and cave.) ;) If he wants to appraise me like he would a horse, well neighhhhhh! Now FIX it!

Edited by firewatcher
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I loved the list, but must add one caveat....the first time I see a doctor, or one I've already seen, it seems that they have NO idea about my history at all! I don't think most of my docs take the time to really read my history, and therefore, and appointment becomes more confusing, with the doctor only having "x" amount of time to spend per patient. I wish they would take the time to read my charts!

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I loved the list, but must add one caveat....the first time I see a doctor, or one I've already seen, it seems that they have NO idea about my history at all! I don't think most of my docs take the time to really read my history, and therefore, and appointment becomes more confusing, with the doctor only having "x" amount of time to spend per patient. I wish they would take the time to read my charts!

I have a standard, four page medical history that I send every new doc before I see them, along with a cover letter explaining why I am coming.

---page one is a complete medical history in chronological format (1976-adenoidectomy, 1987-broken left forearm, both bones-three fractures......2010-Renal flow scan, gfr=87, blah, blah, blah)

---page two is a short summary of ongoing conditions and current symptoms and how they are controlled (polyuria-controlled by dDAVP, enhanced physiologic tremor-controlled by propranolol....)

---page three is a complete list of current doctors with names, practice name, phone and fax numbers, as well as previous or consulting physicians with phone and fax.

---page four is a complete list of current medications and supplements with dosage, time taken, how often and why (nurses LOVE this one!)

I also make a list of talking points ahead of time so that all my questions are addressed and in case of brainfog!

I have all my labs and previous tests in a BIG D-ring binder, so that if they ask for the results of test x, I can flip to it and pull it out for them to copy.

Most docs don't read until they are right outside the door of your exam room, so make it short and sweet. If they don't read that.....good luck! They are probably too busy to spend the amount of time we tend to need.

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Finding a new doc is worse than dating! But very similar because you are looking for someone to trust with your life, possibly for a very long time!

Why finding a doc is WORSE than dating:

Because you don't know what they will be like until you get there

.......but they KNOW about you because they have your records!

Because you don't know if after the first meeting if you'll ever see them again

.......either of you could think the other is a nut!

Because sometimes, the first time the doc sees you, you are in a paper gown with only your underwear on

.......generally you don't get to that point till farther down the dating path (hopefully never! :P )

Because they can say nasty, hurtful things about you and it carries more weight

.......AND totally effects what your next doc/date thinks!

Because those new patient appointments are bleeping hard to schedule

.......it takes months, no matter what! By then, you might need a different type of doctor!

Because you are trying to find someone to talk to who will listen, believe you, and make you feel better

.......your date can pretend, but your doc has to actually do it!

Because this guy/gal in the white coat across from you is supposed to take care of you and your very life

.......after 15 minutes in his office and nothing to go on but paperwork!

Because the doc may be totally HOT, hot, HOT!

........but you have to try to talk (through the blushing) about your rash, or whatever. Or worse, the tachycardia made worse by the fact he's HOT!

Because even IF the two of you hit it off, spend years successfully treating your condition and getting to know one another,

.......they still aren't your friend, they are your doctor, and it is only a professional relationship.

Because they really want to know how you feel, and they NEED to know how you feel,

.......but they honestly don't emotionally care about it.

did I miss anything?

THIS WAS GREAT....

I MUST SAY I HAVE been lucky with most of the doctors I go to. It's the ER I detest.... My PC Has never let me down and has although I'm sure she wanted to ring my neck from time to time stood by me through thick and thin as my chart is now volume # 3 or 4. Yesterday, someone working with me said, bella, you are so easy and nice to work with, not all our clients are. I'm not bragging but it goes both ways. I try my best to cooperate and talk about what works and what doesn't. Also, she does send me to a lot of women docs who seem to have less of an ego. (no offense anyone, what I mean is womman just seem to understand woman's bodies better) exception, my cardio is the most wonderful man I ever met in my life as far as his job too. Why? He listens to me and then treats me.

MY PC sends me to people she would send herself to or family members to. There is never a fight, she listens, we talk, we make plans.... she does whatever she can to help me even if she eats up the cost. She's an angel in my cast of those here on earth HELPING, HEALING, AND GUIDING me.

So when I got her I was given to her by my last doc who made her promise to take the best of care of me. as she was moving to another state. She had lived up to her promise. God Bless her and all doctors like her.

I'm very blessed.

bellamia~*

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  • 2 years later...

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