So, Where's The Safety Line?

[MightyMouse]

Hi Everyone.

Since my car accident on 3/3, I haven't had a single day of good sleep, a day without a headache, or a day without belly pain. Makes POTSy stuff all that much harder because I'm persistently exhausted.

Had my BRAVO implant done today... I'm tired, and a bit sore. The doctor wants me to do all the things that normally provoke the belly issues, so I did yoga tonight, and had a regular sized meal instead of a really small one. I'm hoping that this test will figure out what the heck is really going on with me because I'm just teetering. Okay, so my one GI doc has already said the accident sent me off the cliff healthwise, but I'm hoping not or at least there's a safety line somewhere to tug me back up to the top.

I have to say, that the emotional and physical are colliding too. Teri has ended our nearly 18 years together and it's been so shocking, confusing, sad and hard. I still can't say I fully understand her logic in all of this, but I have accepted that it is what it is; I've had about 4 weeks to start adjusting. As many of you know, high states of emotion can make autonomic stuff just plain whacky.

I am so thankful that I have some really good friends and a few family members helping me out too. My sister came down from CT to take me to the hospital this morning. I have to admit to having fears about how I'll be able to manage on my own especially given all the above stuff, but even if I can't manage on my own, I know that somehow it will eventually be better than I've been in these past few weeks of this chaos. To those of you who've been in email, phone and f/b contact with me, I want to publicly say that you've kept me afloat and I appreciate you more than I have words.

So, that's it for now. Now, where's the bounce in this bungee cord that pops me back up???

Nina

[juliegee]

Oh Honey-

Let me give a good yank to your bungee cord . I had NO idea you were dealing with a break up on top of your health issues. Terri has been such a rock, my heart breaks for you. I'm so thankful you've been surrounded by family and friends during this difficult time. To have any underlying relationship stress out of your life... will be better for you in the long run.

VERY SMART to eat a large meal. Really show your doc exactly WHAT you are dealing with. When Mack had his antroduodenal manometry at Hopkins, they encouraged him to eat 3 big meals (which he hadn't done in months) to illustrate the problem while they were measuring it. Let us know how it turns out.

I'm sending prayers, hugs, and positive healing energy your way.

Hugs-

Julie

[MomtoGiuliana]

Nina--I'm sorry I haven't been more aware of what has been going on in your life these past months. This is certainly A LOT for anyone to manage. I am so sorry about your 18-yr relationship ending. That shocks me, based on all I have heard over all these years about Terry and you.

I wish I had words that could help you. I at least want you to know you are in my thoughts. I know you can get through this. So glad you have friends and family to support you.

[firewatcher]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Nina)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Putting as many of my stretchy, bouncy elastic fibers in your bungee as possible!

[corina]

it must be frightening to have these medical issues while all on your own (it is so much easier dealing with difficulties when in a stabil relationship). i'm glad your taken care of by your sister nina. i'm throwing the safety line right now, hope you can catch it as it has a loooong way to go!

sending lots of love

corina

[mkoven]

Hi Nina,

I'm so sorry and sad to hear about all this %$# you've got going on. Big hugs!

[pat57]

sorry to hear this. Can you see a therapist- I would .

good luck

xxoo

[MightyMouse]

I have been seeing a therapist, and it helps a bit. The long distance good thoughts can't hurt either, so thanks for those.

Living in the same house through all this is kind of nuts, but not an option for me to leave. I can't afford to financially.

I'm also going back to my gp tomorrow to talk to her about the persistent headache and inability to sleep (which started before Teri told me her news in April). Even with the emotional stuff, I know a good night's sleep would be an awesome healer. When I'm rested I can physically tolerate more, which means I can emotionally cope better too.

[Rachel]

You're in my thoughts and prayers, Nina. I'm sorry that life has been so tough lately. I pray that you will find a lifeline soon.

Rachel

[cardiactec]

Hey girly,

just wanted to send you a note of love and care -- thinking of YOU today during such difficult times in your life. I pray you be uplifted today.

What is the BRAVO btw ?

[Guest tearose]

I am sending you love and healing prayers dear Nina.

There is a safety net of support surrounding you even though you can't see it.

Humbly, may I suggest you go to your zen cushion and I will sit beside you virtually and be there with you. We are all connected and we will feel and help you carry what feels like a burden to you.

Wishing you strength, grace and peace.

with love,

tearose

[potsgirl]

Nina~

I can't say anything new or more comforting than the others before me. Just know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you during these dark times. May you come out on the other side an even more caring and compassionate person. Lots of hugs and support!

[Noreen]

{{Nina}}}

I am so sorry for all of your pain. It is so hard to separate out the complexity and layers and how it all interrelates.

You are so wonderful - I send love and healing vibes in hopes the healing vibes can be your bungee back.

Be good to yourself when and where you can and know we are here for you -

((((hugs))))

noreen

[scarfgirl]

As someone who went through a simultaneous health crash/divorce recently, let me offer my sympathies about what you're going through and reassurances that it WILL get better. ***** to see another person having to go through this though...I wouldn't wish this on an enemy much less someone I admire.

I've PM'd my contact info. I have no safety line to offer, but I do have one of those little donut-shaped life savers.

((((((((((((((Nina))))))))))))))

[Tommyhoney]

Nina-

Long distance good vibes, and will keep you in my best intentions......Hang in there, Girl. These are major issues, I know...but you help so many others, all the time, I feel certain that good turnaround will come to you.

My Best,

Tommy

[rach73]

Hi Nina,

Im new here but I have been going through all the old posts and seen the compassion you have shown to others throughout those.

Im so sorry that you are having to deal with all of this right now. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you, sending cyber hugs and positive thoughts your way.

Rach

[summer]

Nina - It sounds like you're going through such a really difficult time. I'm so sorry this is all happening. It's a lot to have to deal with all at once. I can really relate when you say you can handle things so much better when you are getting enough sleep. I'm so the same. If your doctor offers you something to help, please consider trying it. I know that having something to help me sleep during really stressful times has gotten me through so much better.

We are all thinking of you and hoping that healing comes quickly for you in every way.

Take good care,

Summer

[tinkerbella]

Nina,

I feel your pain sweet one. I feel so sad that you are having such a difficult time right now. Try to remember where we are is where we are suppose to be right now. When things get real bad I tell myself, "It's only a movie." When I got dxed with pots I to had to let go of my other half. It has been a long, hard lonely road, but for the better even though I still love him, we can never be together.To this day I'm sad that I could not figure him out and why he chose another lifestyle over me. We are all here for you and if you ever need another listening ear you have one here with me. I'm sending you

((((((((((((((>>>>>>>>---h-- e--- a--- l-- i-- n--g--- h-- u---g---s------>>>>>>>>)))))))))))))

and may all of us with broken hearts be healed and find love again. Hang in there Nina. i'll say a prayer for you right now.

<3 bellamia~*

[MightyMouse]

Oh wow. You all are so sweet and I appreciate your generous hearts. I'm hanging in there. My therapist asked me today what makes me know I'll be okay, what makes me resilient. I told her it's because I've been through harder things, worse things and I survived those times, so I know I'll survive this too. I'm holding on; yesterday was just such a tough, tough day physically that I think it just shifted me briefly to a bad place. I can't say I'm feeling awesome today, but I am better than yesterday and that's all I can hope for right now.

Just a quick hello for now, I need to get to bed. Love and hugs, Nina

[erikainorlando]

I wish I could say I don't relate but I have been so challenged physically and been alone - old boyfriend came back into town for a weekend while I was in the hospital and was too busy to see me or my kids. My mom came to visit for an hour and a well respected place told me my problems werre psychoogenic.

But it is passing...there is some measure of dignity to be handed a real crapful of life and get to the other side. You have been a source of inspiration and hope for many here. This is just a safety line to remind you what you are made of. We love you here. You can do this. Better days will be ahead.

Rob Thomas wrote a song "Diamonds" for his wife who has an autoimmune disease. My favorite line "she'll be alright..she'll be alright...just not tonite".

Hugs.

Erika

[Chaos]

Oh wow. You all are so sweet and I appreciate your generous hearts. I'm hanging in there. My therapist asked me today what makes me know I'll be okay, what makes me resilient. I told her it's because I've been through harder things, worse things and I survived those times, so I know I'll survive this too. I'm holding on; yesterday was just such a tough, tough day physically that I think it just shifted me briefly to a bad place. I can't say I'm feeling awesome today, but I am better than yesterday and that's all I can hope for right now.

Just a quick hello for now, I need to get to bed. Love and hugs, Nina

I think you just answered your own question. Your safety line is the strength within you that you have demonstrated time and time again through all these many ordeals you've survived. That, and the help of all your many friends and aquaintances through this site who are sending you all the mental, emotional and spiritual "elastic" we can find to add to your bungee cord while you're going thru all of this.

Sure hope you start feeling like you're springing back (or perhaps crawling, dragging, stumbling back) in the very near future!!

[MightyMouse]

I just re-read all the posts to me. I have tears in my eyes, happy ones b/c it helps to fill me up with some good stuff to take through my day at work. Yeah, I'm still working through all of this. Trying to keep my routine so I don't lose what's left of my mind.

As for what the BRAVO is, here's a link.

Given Imaging & BRAVO pH monitor

I have no interest in this company except for the expensive piece clipped into my esophagus, which will make one very pricey waste pile in a few days. Also, in a "only in my world" moment, the batteries died in the receiver/monitor sometime between bed last night and waking this am, and the irony is it was a terrible heart burn and reflux night. My doctor's office is now freaking out.

Add this to my most recent mishap, my ear tube fell through my ear drum and is now in my middle ear. In two weeks, there will be a fishing expedition in my ear to get it out and put a tube in a new location. You know it's bad when the ENT is looking into your head and says "Now THAT is really interesting." Then I got read the riot act about using cotton swabs in my ear... to which I replied "make the itching stop and I'll stop using them." And with that, I'm back on Singulair. Halelujah to that.

Nina

[peppermint patty]

Nina----my kids make fun of me for saying this about everything,---" it will be Ok, things will get better"----and hopefully they will for you and everyone , Pat

[taylortotmom]

Nina,

I have been out of the loop and apologize for responding so late. I am so incredibly sorry for all you are going through. I have no words right now other than you will be lifted up in every positive thought I can find. You have been an encourager for so many for so long- Nina, I hope you can find some of that strength you've given others to help yourself. Peace to you and much love-

Carmen

[MightyMouse]

Hi all, I'm holding on as best I can. I'm too tired tonight to eat and really not feeling much like eating b/c my sensor is still in my esophagus and I'm hoping it will fall off soon because it HURTS me. It hurts more when I eat or drink... I see the doctor tomorrow for results.

I do keep telling myself it will be better eventually. If my body calms down more, I'd be able to better handle all the emotional stuff. I did talk to my doctor about being in too much pain to sleep well, and that the lack of sleep is just adding to my mess--she agreed and wrote an Rx for some sleep meds. Thank goodness! I've had 2 nights of pretty okay sleep. Not perfect, but better than last week.

Love to you all.

Nina