Merrill Posted November 29, 2004 Report Share Posted November 29, 2004 Hi, everyone. Today's my 43rd birthday ( ) and perhaps a good day to share the news that my husband and I are planning to adopt a baby girl from China later this year! (Seems timely also, given Katherine's poll; I know she, and probably others, has been thinking about increasing her family through adoption as well.)Many of you may remember that I've been through miscarriages and a couple rounds of (unsuccessful) in vitro fertilization last spring... Well... this seems like the best possible route for us to have a family.We've almost completed the required paperwork (and we've been through our home study) ... I'm sure our dossier will be winging its way to China in the next couple weeks--and then we wait an estimated 6-8 months for a referral and then travel 6-8 weeks after that. It's very exciting--and also very very scary--especially for a person like me who can worry in advance about everything under the sun!I'm of course concerned about whether I'll have the physical stamina to handle the challenges of a baby through early childhood and of course, beyond. I get so winded and tachycardic when I walk while carrying anything...and babies are heavy! Young children even more so!!! (This is one reason I'm thinking about trying meds in the next few months...tho I certainly would prefer to find a way to manage without.)Anyway--I just thought I'd share this piece ... and like other birthday posters, this day feels a little hard. Nothing much planned today/tonight to celebrate--probably best because I'm under the weather anyway with a virus in my throat/chest. Just feeling my age and then some, I guess. Raising a child will either keep me young or age me real fast. Probably both! (Most parents will say this is true, anyway.)Best to everyone,Merrill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomtoGiuliana Posted November 29, 2004 Report Share Posted November 29, 2004 MerrillCongratulations!! I am so happy to read your big news. I hope everything goes very well. I will be very interested to hear about any and all the details you are willing to share with us about the process--and to see the pictures of your little one.As far as the energy--I do find it, although some days I wonder how--as do mothers with no health problems--especially those of us over 35 What I have found is that my daughter keeps me going, even on the hard days.Hopefully you have a support network of family and friends who can assist you, too, when you need it.Happy Birthday, too. Hope you get over the virus soon.Katherine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernie Posted November 29, 2004 Report Share Posted November 29, 2004 Hi Merrill,Congradulation, That is a wonderful news. I think you made a good decision. Like Katherine I can't wait to see the picture of your little one.Ernie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wsc Posted November 29, 2004 Report Share Posted November 29, 2004 Oh, How EXCITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulatoins!!!!! Adoption is one of my DREAMS, that is just so thrilling that you have this opportunity!!!!!!! Congrats, congrats, congrats! and happy birthday, too! Don't worry about everything else, health wise. In my desire to have another baby, I find that worry to be so CONSUMING, but you know what? you have to follow your heart and you will be such a wonderful parent, I'm sure of it. Horray!!!!! Really, I just thinkl that is so so so fantastic. best of luck to you!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
briarrose Posted November 29, 2004 Report Share Posted November 29, 2004 Congratulations and Happy Birthday!It truly is exciting news. You are very brave and I'm sure you will do well. You will be a great mom steph Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opus88 Posted November 29, 2004 Report Share Posted November 29, 2004 Happy birthday! And congrats on the adoption! I hope it's everything you've been hoping for and that you are always strong enough to do exactly what you want and need to do with a little one in your life! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogini Posted November 29, 2004 Report Share Posted November 29, 2004 Congrats and happy bday. I know you'll make a great mom, Merrill! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingLight Posted November 29, 2004 Report Share Posted November 29, 2004 HAPPY BIRTHDAY MERRILL!!!!!! :) HOW COME YOUR BDAY IS LISTED AS NOV. 11 IN YOUR PROFILE GOOFBALL??? SORRY, HAD TO BUG YOU.HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER FROM THIS BUG YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW...I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO BE SICK ON OUR BIRTHDAYS. POOH. SOMETHING TELLS ME THIS YEAR IS GONNA BE A GOOD ONE FOR YOU! HUGS, EMILY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dizzy Posted November 29, 2004 Report Share Posted November 29, 2004 Congratulations and Happy Birthday!!!Best Wishes - I hope all goes well for your new family - you must be very excited! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Sawicki Posted November 29, 2004 Report Share Posted November 29, 2004 That's sooooo exciting, Merrill!!!! Congratulations! And Happy Birthday to you as well! Hope you have a great one!Michelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MightyMouse Posted November 29, 2004 Report Share Posted November 29, 2004 Wow, Merill, that's BIG news indeed!!! Congrats Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ethansmom Posted November 30, 2004 Report Share Posted November 30, 2004 Merrill,CONGRATULATIONS!! You totally made my entire day when I logged and and saw your big news! Wow! I have been following your story all along, totally rooting for you and your husband in your attempts to conceive, crossing my fingers for you but also hoping that you wouldn't rule out adoption as a means to add to your family. I think it is SUCH a beautiful thing to do, and it has been a dream of mine since I was a child as well. I still hope to adopt someday when my kids are a little older (maybe even out the house). Your life is going to become so enriched...my aunt and uncle adopted a baby girl from Korea and sharing it with them was one of the most awesome experiences of my life. I am just so happy for you! Please do tell us all the details as you go along, I would love to hear more about this process! Way to go Merrill...I am so happy for you!!! Please don't worry too much about your age or stamina, etc...you will find love in your heart that will make it possible to meet the day-to-day needs of your child, and everything will work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest veryblue Posted November 30, 2004 Report Share Posted November 30, 2004 Congrads...and to adopt a girl from a country who thinks of girls as useless...she will definitly have a better life over here. Happy B-day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geneva Posted November 30, 2004 Report Share Posted November 30, 2004 Merrill, this is wonderful news and I am so excited for you and your husband!HAPPY BIRTHDAY as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackwolf Posted November 30, 2004 Report Share Posted November 30, 2004 Congrats and Happy Birthday.I hope everything is wonderful for you now and always.Blackwolf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corina Posted November 30, 2004 Report Share Posted November 30, 2004 Hi Merril,wow, I'm so excited for you!!!! This is going to be a VERY special year for you and your husband. And please don't worry about your health or age, there will be a solution for everything. You'll be surprised of how creative you will be in finding solutions to solve any possible problems. And you know: this baby girl will be soooo loved that she'll be glad you and Jim are her parents. Wish you all the best and hope everything works out very well for you. Oh and last but not least: many congratulations on your birthday!!!! And know that's it not the figure that counts but it's just how you feel!!! Corina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eillyre Posted November 30, 2004 Report Share Posted November 30, 2004 Happy Birthday!!! And congratulations on the wonderful news about the adoption!!! I a friend of mine made the same decision to adopt a baby from China while struggling with major health issues (recovering from breast cancer, battling lupus, and more), and, though she was concerned about not being able to have enough energy to put into parenting, found that it was one of the best decisions she ever made. She eventually adopted a second baby, too. She's been a terrific mom to the girls, despite trouble with fatigue, etc.! For the practical day-to-day effort involved in raising a family, my friend found that she was able to find creative ways to work around her physical limitations. The girls have enjoyed a fun childhood that many kids with "healthy" parents cannot claim, as well as grown up with a keen sense of compassion for others, conditionless love, patience, and perseverance stemming from their experiences with their mom's illnesses. Remember, even on your worst days, you'll have the love that is essential in nurturing a child. Nothing can take that away from you. Your baby girl will always have that, and treasure it more than perfect and elaborate meals, an immaculate house, and endless trips to the toy store. I can remember sitting on my parents' bed with my four siblings watching my mom, at the feverish temperature of 104 from malaria, turn pages on a storybook for us with shaking hands. We grew up with so much illness in the house that before age three, I completely understood that she was doing the best she could. I only loved her the more for thinking of my needs while she was so very incapacitated. Your daughter will cherish your thoughts and efforts and sacrifices for her. Thanks again for sharing your news! Keep us all posted! I'll be praying for your health and wisdom on this new endeavour! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplefocus Posted November 30, 2004 Report Share Posted November 30, 2004 That is GREAT news. I am very happy for you. Happy Birthday. Wow, a new child, wonderful wonderful news. Paige Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merrill Posted November 30, 2004 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2004 Oh, my gosh, you guys are so fantastic!!!! Is there a way to thank you for your kind words of encouragement and support? Can this note possibly express how I feel? Thank you thank you thank you!!! I'll definitely keep you posted as things develop and we learn more information. peace,Merrill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingLight Posted November 30, 2004 Report Share Posted November 30, 2004 merrill,yup, you conveyed your gratitude just fine!how was your big day? did you end up celebrating? or did you just hit the hay early since you are feeling a bit under the weather? hey, sometimes, hitting the hay early is a treat in and of itself! won't ramble here, as i already did that in the email to you! so, you've had enough of me for one day! take care alligator!do you feel older today? okay, okay, sorry, couldn't resist!emily Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merrill Posted November 30, 2004 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2004 OK, miss ee, I actually feel younger, now that I've updated my birthdate on the forum profile! Thanks for noticing that, by the way--Not sure what happened there! You didn't notice that not only was the day wrong, but the year was wrong as well ... 1959 would've put me at 45! No, thanks!My birthday was OK ... nothing during the day but work--not a soul in my office remembered and a colleague forgot we had lunch plans (and why we had lunch plans) and stood me up ; carry out dinner, a couple phone calls from old friends, and great prezzies from my husband. Oh, and I made myself some cupcakes from a mix and canned frosting ... I somehow couldn't bear the thought of another b-day passing w/out a cake! Forgot about the candle and the wish, though. Sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GayleP Posted November 30, 2004 Report Share Posted November 30, 2004 Merrill,That's really great news. You must be so excited. Congratulations and happy birthday.Gayle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tearose Posted December 1, 2004 Report Share Posted December 1, 2004 Merrill, I am so happy for you! I recall how ready you and your husband have been to become parents. This is such joyful news! I hope the time passes quickly and soon you will have your little one with you. You exude energy and I think you will figure out a way to use and reserve what you have to be able to handle parenthood. You must be so excited. Birthdays are fun too but this is probably the best birthday gift ever! Congratulations! tearose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldicedance Posted December 1, 2004 Report Share Posted December 1, 2004 Merrill, What a wonderful birthday surprise for you and your husband! You must be still in a state of shock of happiness! Hoping that all goes well in the next several months as your family expands! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michiganjan Posted December 1, 2004 Report Share Posted December 1, 2004 Congratulations Merrill! On your birthday and on the impending adoption.My parents adopted me when they were 42. I was an only child. I raised 2 active children while struggling with POTS. It can be done. I have many happy memories of their childhoods and I did get to go a lot of places and be involved in many of their activities.Whether or not you should take meds depends on how well you get along without them. Will you continue to work full time and take care of the baby, too?Many happy wishesMichigan Jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.