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I had hydration today and when I got home the phone rang. It was my therapist we haven't been together the past few weeks since my uncle died. I knew we would get back on track on Tuesday but, I was heart broken when she said we could no longer meet. She said she had cancer and she had it pretty bad and they had just called her the other morning when she was going to work and they had found more. She said she has to stop working now as it wouldn't be fair to either of us to continue. I'm so sad this evening, she was the one I could go to and let everything go... Most of all I am so sad for her as she had become more of a friend. She was the one who watched me slowly lose myself over the years and ended our sessions at my home with me in bed.

Usually you get a few weeks to make closure when a therapist is leaving. So, this feels so hard tonight being alone. She was so wonderful to me

I will miss her so very much so I'm just asking that those of you who pray if you would just add my therapist to your list. God knows who she is and I'd be very grateful.

Thank you,

Bellamia~*

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I'm adding YOU to my prayers, Bella (and your dear therapist!) Know that she didn't want to leave you- she had to. I can tell her heart is still strongly with you. Was she able to recommend someone else for you to see? I can imagine the lack of closure is awful.

Stay strong & know how loved you are-

Julie

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Thank you everyone for your support. When I woke up this morning I felt like it was all a bad dream and then the tears started again. I just can't stop crying thinking of her going through all of what is ahead of her. I remember once she was so proud of how I was handling all that I had to handle that she was taking my case to her woman's group as a case example... this was while I was searching for what was wrong with me. The next week I walked in and I told her I had Pots.

We laughed, we cried and we shared so much together. I'm tired now and I'm feeling depressed knowing my mom will soon die, the my uncle just did and I know my therapist was a professional but I feel like I've lost a good friend. I know she has a battle to fight and I'm praying that she will fight it and win. It feels like a death to me because you're not suppose to have a relationship with your Professionals.

Last night i started to write a letter to her and wouldn't see through my tears. I'll try again later and send it to where she worked and ask them to forward it to her. Maybe If I leave the door open we can keep in touch through her journey. It is a journey no one should go on.

She was going to go into work today and find someone for each of her clients. I don't know if she'll find someone who will come to my home. I think she did that on her own for free. If not I'll have to have someone from my home care company come in. I just can't think of starting over again. I'm too tired and too sad.

Once again, thank you for each one of your messages. I love all of you. Thank you.

Bellamia~*

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Thank you everyone for your support. When I woke up this morning I felt like it was all a bad dream and then the tears started again. I just can't stop crying thinking of her going through all of what is ahead of her. I remember once she was so proud of how I was handling all that I had to handle that she was taking my case to her woman's group as a case example... this was while I was searching for what was wrong with me. The next week I walked in and I told her I had Pots.

We laughed, we cried and we shared so much together. I'm tired now and I'm feeling depressed knowing my mom will soon die, the my uncle just did and I know my therapist was a professional but I feel like I've lost a good friend. I know she has a battle to fight and I'm praying that she will fight it and win. It feels like a death to me because you're not suppose to have a relationship with your Professionals.

Last night i started to write a letter to her and wouldn't see through my tears. I'll try again later and send it to where she worked and ask them to forward it to her. Maybe If I leave the door open we can keep in touch through her journey. It is a journey no one should go on.

She was going to go into work today and find someone for each of her clients. I don't know if she'll find someone who will come to my home. I think she did that on her own for free. If not I'll have to have someone from my home care company come in. I just can't think of starting over again. I'm too tired and too sad.

Once again, thank you for each one of your messages. I love all of you. Thank you.

Bellamia~*

Bella, you are a very special person. You have touch my heart sooo many times. My prayers are with both of you and everyone that has been affected by this sad news. I think of you often and wonder how you are doing. Love you, Mary

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Bella, you are a very special person. You have touch my heart sooo many times. My prayers are with both of you and everyone that has been affected by this sad news. I think of you often and wonder how you are doing. Love you, Mary

Thank you sweet Mary for you kind words. Some people just don't understand how sad and depressed this has made me. Some people say, they don't let things like that bother them and they just brush them off and let them go. Well, that is not who I am. I hurt when the people I love hurt. This is going to take time. I will be going to my PC in the morning and let her know what is going on. I still feel like I'm in shock. I have that feeling when you have been crying so much that you become numb. I guess it's time to read the book that Dr. Grubb gives his patients, "When bad things happen to good people," by Harold Kushner. Funny thing is the author is from the town I grew up in and I have the book sitting right here for the past month waiting to read. I had been telling my therapist about all the books Dr. Grubb recommends you read at our last few visits. One of my potsie friends who saw him told me about the books and I wanted to read them all. "When things change everything changes" and "the anticancer book." Maybe we all should read them.

xxx's

love,

Bellamia

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