I'm Still Here!

[all4family]

Hi everyone,

Sorry I haven't been around in so long. I was very sick, and down for a while, then I started to feel really good. Not perfect, but great for me. I was trying to finish my kitchen with that energy, and juggling kids activities etc., when my inlaws called and said they were coming in from out of town, so I spent quite a bit of time cleaning construction dust and trying to find places to hide all my tools, and kitchen stuff as I had no place to put it until my cabinets were done. The night before they were supposed to come in I got a call my grandma was in the hospital. they ventilated her even though she has a living will, then the next week was a complete nightmare. We had to get her off the ventilator, and went back and forth between thinking she might still make it,and might not. We took shifts at the hospital so she would never be without family. During this week both my kids got sick, we found out we got mice probably because the construction and all the holes, we have a cat that we rescued from the streets when she was pregnant, and now her 4 kittens, and the mother cat got sick, so we had to get her to a vet, and clean the mess she made. I made it through all this. Sadly my grandma died yesterday. I will miss her so much.

So this is why I haven't been here. I always think of all of you. I miss coming here, and sharing these things with people who understand. We went out to dinner last night with family. Something I rarely do, because I usually have to eat laying down. We were with family I haven't seen in 20 years, and I got ready to faint. I had to lay my head on the table, and I am sure they were bothered by it, but I just did what I had to. My grandma always understood as she was sick too. We often compared notes.

Thank you to those of you who checked on me.

Take care, and hugs to everyone,

Suzy

[Mrs. Burschman]

Suzy,

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I hope that your family can find some peace in this difficult time.

It sounds like you've been crazy busy! Thanks for checking in with us!

Amy

[Sophia3]

Oh my gosh! what a week for you...I am so sorry you have so much on your plate and especially the loss of your grandmother.

Take care of yourself in all of this....

[firewatcher]

((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))

take care of yourself!

[Broken_Shell]

Hi Suzy,

I am so sorry for your loss. My grandma passed away two weeks ago also. I appreciate you checking in with us though, and I hope that your positive change in symptoms lasts for a long time. Good luck finishin the kitchen. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Hugs, Shell

[potsgirl]

Hi Suzy,

I've missed you, and I'm so happy that you took a moment to check in. You certainly have had quite the stress lately, and yet you're still doing well - hurrah!

My condolences on the loss of your grandmother. I'm glad that you have family around for extra support. Please take good care of yourself during this time, and may you continue to feel so good.

My best,

Jana

[all4family]

Thank you all for the compasion and understanding.

Amy thank you. We have all been very close, and that is helping us find peace, and good memories.

Sophia, thank you. It has been quite a week, things are starting to settle down now though.

Firewatcher, ((((((hugs)))))) back and thanks!

Broken shell, so sorry about your grandmother also. Even though I knew it would happen sooner or later, it didn't make it easier when it did. Were you close with your grandma? I feel I was given what I needed to be able to handle what was coming, but I sure hope the change in symptoms last. Losing my grandma really makes me want to live my life as full as I can, and I don't want to be stopped by symptoms.

Jana, I have missed you too. I am so happy to be having such a good time with my symptoms, but sure wish I could spend it on something happier. But it gave me what I needed so I could be there for her, and say my last goodbyes. Thank you so much for the good wishes.

Hugs

Suzy

[juliegee]

So sorry about your grandmother You have been missed here and it's wonderful to see you posting again!

Hugs-

Julie

[Maxine]

Oh my goodness Suzy,

You have certainly been through quite a bit lately, and I'm so sorry about your grandmother's passing. You both were close, and it also sounds like she understood you more then anyone, and that makes it especially hard when you lose someone who you had such a special bond with.

I remember when I lost my grandma in 1992. She was 89 years old, and she had a hard life, but my Aunt who I was also very close with took very good care of her in her later years. A few days before she died I went to the hospital to see her, and we had a very special visit. Before her heath took a turn for the worse, she was on her way to get her hair done and her heart failed. She never did get her hair done. That day on our little visit, I got her comb out and combed her hair, and I put a pretty lace head band on her head to hold her hair in place. She looked in her little mirror and loved it. She asked me to get her earrings out of her drawer next to the bed, and she also asked for her lipstick. She looked in the mirror and had a big smile on her face. She died peacefully that following week. In fact she turned to her room mate who was a very sweet lady, and said, "I think I'm dying", and the lady told us she wasn't in pain and was in a very peaceful state. We weren't shocked, as we all knew she was in failing health, and we were grateful to have those very special last days with her.

I hope your kids are feeling better, and that your symptoms ramain stable. You need your strength to get through all this. How's the lttle mommy cat feeling?

BIG HUGS to you.

Maxine :0)

[all4family]

Julie, Thank you, and it is good to be back.

Maxine, thank you, my grandma was 83. We have all lived close together our whole lives. When one moved for a job or something everyone follows. My grandma bought houses with "granny pads" in them. Usually they were shared with my mom, but for these last years it was my uncle. She had a good life, and was pretty independant right up untill her last day at home. She went to my Uncle, and said I'm dying. I was greatful for the extra time in the hospital, because her birthday just passed, and I was too sick to go to her house. I figured I would go and see her on halloween. That didn't happen. She called my name out a few times. She called for my husband, and then said that he saved her life!! We didn't know what she meant, but it made us all giggle!

My kids are getting better. They were sad that they didn't get to say goodbye to her, but they made her a pretty card, and asked God to say there goodbyes. The mother cat was doing better but just started throwing up again last night, so I will need to get her back to the vets......my intention was to get her fixed so she doesn't end up pregnant again, and find her a good home, and the kittens a good home. But as things are going I am running out of energy, and resources. And I don't know anyone who will take on a sick cat and take care of her. I feel bad for her as I know what she has been through.

after my life quits running out of control I plan on being here more. Losing my grandma has made me want to do as much as I can with my life regardless of having POTS.

Suzy

[MomtoGiuliana]

So sorry about your loss. Very hard.

My 6-yr old daughter just lost her 81-yr old grammy this summer (my husband's mom).

Take care of yourself.

[gomindy21]

I am very sorry for your loss and you hectic week! I am glad to hear that you are being very positive about all of this. You and your family will be in my prayers.

[all4family]

Momtogiuliana, Thank you so much. It is so much harder on the kids isn't it? Mine are a little older, 13 and 10, but this is the first death (other then a pet frog) that they have experienced, and I am proud of how well they are handling it. They have been very helpful with all that we have had to do this last week.

gomindy21, thank you for the prayers and encouragement.

Sorry I haven't been here. This week we had to clean out my grandmas house which was both physically and emotionally draining. I am very grateful to have been left with what I needed to handle it for the most of it. There was even a point when we had a emotional flare up, and my mom was getting bitey and jumping on everyone because she didn't want the fridge emptied yet. Knowing she was under high emotion I made light of it by unpacking the boxes and loading them back into the fridge. Realizing she was just being emotional she started to unpack them, and we went into a race with laughing and everything. The kids and my husband took up sides, and we all kept circling, till I went down, but I went down laughing!! So all in all it has been hard, but I at least know what I am made of. Even with this disease I can face what life throws at me. Maybe not the way I want to, but I face it none the less. I look forward to life slowing back down, and coming on here and catching up with everyone. I am hoping that will be soon, but my 17 year old dog has been sick, and we have to make plans for traveling and burial of my grandma. Everyone take care!

Hugs

Suzy