Csmith3 Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 Some very thoughtful posts. I just wanted to add a link to an article that has brought me a great deal of comfort in its explanation of the emotional side of chronic illness, including anger. I hope it touches some of you too. http://www.alpineguild.com/COPING%20WITH%2...%20ILLNESS.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia3 Posted May 9, 2009 Report Share Posted May 9, 2009 elyagi know you have had physical setbacks and been way below your usual baseline.Add to that the societal pressure to go WATCH your husband play volleyball in the direct sun and heat, and stand or sit UPRIGHT is not a viable "option" for some of us. I hope you get through this as I know it's a drag to feel this way when we find ourselves in limbo.I don't think you are CHOOSING to be in self pity or stay home. You must stay home to avoid disaster in your situation. We are all different with our illnesses and times we can push ourselves.@Cathy in UKExcellent LINK! I have not read it in it's entirety but it is full of reality and a realistic view of living with a chronic illness. I also think the Pollyanna person and the Gloom and Doom are both most unhealthy. Thanks for the site...I book marked it to put on another site. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest elyag Posted May 9, 2009 Report Share Posted May 9, 2009 Thank you everyone for your honest and thoughful replies. I read through each one of them and I appreciate all of your responses. It's not really an easy topic to discuss but I think it's necessary to acknowledge that we all feel that way from time to time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest elyag Posted May 9, 2009 Report Share Posted May 9, 2009 Some very thoughtful posts. I just wanted to add a link to an article that has brought me a great deal of comfort in its explanation of the emotional side of chronic illness, including anger. I hope it touches some of you too. http://www.alpineguild.com/COPING%20WITH%2...%20ILLNESS.htmlThanks for the link. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest elyag Posted May 9, 2009 Report Share Posted May 9, 2009 Food for Thought:Picture This:A perfectly healthy human beingWho has plenty of moneyWho is good-lookingWho is talentedWho is idolizedSome of the above people deliberately put something into their bodies to make themselves malfunction, stuff like drugs and alcohol. That's a human for you?!What's my point? You sometimes fall into a trap of "if only I had this" "if only I had that" I would be happy. Remember, there are people out there who have it all and are still miserable.You're chasing a dream if you think "something" is going to make you happy. You need to learn to be happy in whatever situation you are in, because the "things" you are chasing are fantasies. Stay in reality. It's the best place to be.Another thought to help to stay reality based: If you could see inside your body to see what all the anger, resentment and jealousy are DOING to your body: the negative impact, the deterioration of your immune system, the inflammation.....You might think twice before falling into the "poor me" syndrome. Unless your goal is to make yourself sicker. And I certainly hope that is not your goal.Okay, off my soapbox. Momtoguiliana, I agree with your wonderful comments.Hmmm.... I think you misunderstood what I was asking or what I meant in my initial post. I get the feeling from this post that you think I'm constantly walking around in a state of self pity and resentment which isn't the case at all. But...sometimes....every now and then I do feel depressed, angry, resentful anxious..you name it.... which judging from everyone else's replies is perfectly normal. I also feel happy , content and grateful some of the time as well. We come to this board to talk about our symptoms and how we feel physically and I think for some of us it's just as important to talk about how we're doing emotionally. And to be able to discuss it honestly.I suppose there are some people on this board who never get depressed or angry or or resentful. Perhaps they have worked through those feelings and come to some acceptance or perhaps they're in denial. I don't think I'm ever going to be in a place where I accept this disorder to the point where I don't feel a pang when I watch that person riding his bike or I don't feel sad when I can't join my husband in a volley ball game. It's just not in my makeup. If I get to that point it'll mean I've given up and the fighting spark is gone. But...it doesn't mean I feel that way all the time. I don't. A pang, a feeling, is simply just that.... they come and go.... and in between there's lots of happiness and other good feelings as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tearose Posted May 10, 2009 Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 In my opinion:The ability to live in our feeble bodies and be totally fine with it is a holy ability.It is just honest to say that even those who are considered "nearly holy or holy" are going to have moments or mili-moments of a pang of something "other than holy" and that is okay. We are not perfect. It is wonderful that we all do our best to walk the path of compassion, understanding and harmony but unless we are totally out of body all the time...we are bound to have mili-moments of human pangs. It is okay for me to accept my "fall from holiness" as long as I put myself back on track asap.Goodness, it is too late to start being so philosophical but I really think we here are all trying to say the same thing.best regards,tearose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest elyag Posted May 10, 2009 Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 In my opinion:The ability to live in our feeble bodies and be totally fine with it is a holy ability.It is just honest to say that even those who are considered "nearly holy or holy" are going to have moments or mili-moments of a pang of something "other than holy" and that is okay. We are not perfect. It is wonderful that we all do our best to walk the path of compassion, understanding and harmony but unless we are totally out of body all the time...we are bound to have mili-moments of human pangs. It is okay for me to accept my "fall from holiness" as long as I put myself back on track asap.Goodness, it is too late to start being so philosophical but I really think we here are all trying to say the same thing.best regards,tearose Nicely put, Tearose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lgamez3 Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 Im a newbie, but I feel this way. Probably more often than you do at this point. I still get embarrassed when I go to stores and have to ride on the motorized carts because I cant walk around, hoping I dont see anyone I know. I want to be able to go shopping with my girls or my boyfriend and be able to go to stores that we like (they dont seem to have the motorized carts or the room for them) so I end up feeling left out. I get mad, angry, resentful. I cry alot. I do try to think on the positive side of things though, there are many people out there that are far worse off than I am so I am very fortunate. I have always been a very VERY independent person, worked alot, always busy. Now this. Now Im the total opposite, I cant work at all, and having MAJOR issues with depending on anyone I like what someone called it an "invisible" illness.....I for the most part look fine (because my pride wont let anyone really see my pain), so most people dont understand why I just dont go back to work, or do the things I used to do.......It does get very frustrating............... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griffin Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 With me the anger is more a kind of frustation and despondence it comes and goes with varying shades of disability. I have several different chronic illnesses, as it seems so do many others of you, so what often triggers a bout of frustration is a feeling of illness overload in terms of having to deal with day to day living and hospitals and doctors. I am in a major round of changing meds, with the usual side effects making it all but impossble, and that frustrates me. What usually happens is I will suddenly emerge from the frustration and despondense into acceptance, but I have no idea what really triggers the change as it is not as striaghtforward as just feeling better physically. Personally I think these feelings are normal. Or at least, not abnormal. It's only when they are extreme, or get in the way of living, that I think they matter. I like others, find that focusing on "can do" or " will do somehow" rather than "can't do" helps a lot. But I find it harder when feeling depressed. Or do I find I get depressed when the "can't do" gets overwhelming? I am not sure. It fluctuates and I think that is normal too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shimoda Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 And still when spring comes around and I see some young thing in a cute running suit I want to slap her upside the head!!Personally, I've NEVER had that problem. In fact, I experience the opposite feeling....weird, huh? XP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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