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Boyfriend Left :-(


delphicdragon
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Feeling really devastated right now. The guy who was so sweet to me, who I really and truly thought was my soul mate, decided that we should break up. He gave me no reason for it, tells me he still loves me and still wants to be friends (HOW?) I know he's completely overwhelmed with school, but it seems like this just came up out of the blue. He was younger than me by 4 years and maybe that had something to do with it. He says he just isn't ready to settle down and that he's too young decide that I'm the one for him, even though we're happy together. I don't want to lose him, but I guess it's just too late for that now. I'm going to go cry for a while. Not looking forward to finding a relationship especially considering my POTS and I don't want to wind up an old maid. Those of you who are married, where did you meet the husband- bars are so NOT my thing and most of my male friends are either far away or gay.

Sara

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sometimes people do that (subconsciously) to test the others reaction. I can't say that's the case, but I have indeed heard that its normal at some time in a relationship to have one "pull away". "They" say further, it would be a mistake to pursue the person because they then- continue- to pull away.

Whatever happens - it will get better.

(sara)

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Honey, It will be OK! I know it hurts now, when my first marriage ended, I wanted to be an old maid! I never wanted anyone ever again, I did not want to get that close again. Perhaps he will come around, perhaps he won't, if he does not, then he was not for you. I actually found my husband of 13 years (so far) through a dating service! You will never find perfect, but you may get close. If there is nothing that you want to change about the man, and there is nothing he asks you to change about you, that's about as close as you get. Hang in there and have a good cry. It will get better.

With much love and support,

Jennifer

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Sara,

Sometimes men genuinely don't know what they want (men here, please don't take offense, but we women definitely deal with emotions differently). For younger men, it can be even harder for them to identify what they want or even how they feel about a relationship. I'm sorry that you were in the path of the fallout...

I know it's going to sound trite, but when it's right, it's right. I met my partner by total accident at a time when I'd sworn off relationships and set my mind to the idea that I'd be alone... life had another idea in mind. :unsure:

Mourn whatever way works for you... and when you're ready, love will find you. I truly believe that for you, even if you don't right now. I'll hold onto those thoughts on your behalf until you're ready to do it yourself.

With love, Nina

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I am so very sorry. I know how badly it hurts to lose a relationship with someone you were committed to. Having been on both sides of such a situation, I know it is painful for both parties. Unfortunately, moving the relationship to ?just friends? rarely works; at least not for a long, long time (my experience).

Give yourself some time to heal.

I met my husband through mutual interests?we both enjoyed being outdoors and were both involved in community organizations doing environmental work. I think it?s great if you can meet someone that way, but as you get older it gets increasingly difficult to meet someone through casual contacts. I have a good friend who just got married last weekend to a woman he met through an on-line service last year. They are soulmates just the same!

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Sara,

I was 15 when I first got sick with POTS so I've only ever known the dating world while having a chronic illness. I've been in several bad relationships with guys who were immature, or who couldn't deal with me being sick. I felt like I would never meet anyone who could deal with me not going out partying all the time or who could accept my limitations. Finally I gave up on dating and instead of sitting at home feeling sorry for myself I went out with my cousin and his friends one night. I met one of my cousin's friends who apparently had seen me several times over the years and commented on how pretty he thought I was to my cousin. We have been inseparable since that night. We are getting married in a week and recently found out that we are expecting our first little one! I know that it seems like you won't ever find the right guy but trust me when I say things happen when you least expect it :P

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I am so sorry to hear about what happened. Just trust that what is meant to happen will, and even though you care deeply for this guy, if this relationship is truly to be ended, then that only means that God (or whatever you believe in i.e fate etc) has bigger and better things planned for your future. Just remember it will work out eventually.

Now I am only 16 and have had pots since I was 13, so I am not that old into the dating bis but, I do know a few things. Right now I do have a wonderful boyfriend. I will say that I didn't go looking, I just kinda figured that I wasnt going to find someone who really accepted me while I was in High school, but I guess someone had other plans for my life, anyways basically what my advice to you would be, accept your life as a single person right now, and try to embrace it, its generally when you arent searching for someone when they will find you. Just trust and be patient and things will work out in due time.

Feel better, and remember its ok to cry!

Mary

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Hi,

I am sorry that your boyfriend left you. I agree that staying friends is very complicated and painful. Unless you have a child together I would not recommend it.

I meet my husband in a volunteer organisation. We were bought helping sngle parent children. I had POTS and NCS and was 21 years old.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I hope you have a kitty or a dog to comfort you =) That's the only thing that could help me in your situation, I am so sorry that you are going through this. After a while, you'll become stronger and wiser. Maybe just try reaching out to friends and making new ones, and perhaps a guy friend will come along who will end up being more. I think that is the best way to make a lasting connection. Friendship is much more valuable to me than butterflies in the stomach---for me that comes later as the friendship grows stronger. Someone will definitely love you and take care of you, just be patient and strong and take care of yourself in the meantime =)

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  • 1 month later...

Sorry this is so late I haven't checked in a while. I know how you feel I just went through a break up with my fiance of 6 years in April. I feel like I am going to end up alone, but even though it ***** right now cause the hurt is still there, I advise you to keep your chin up and play the dating game. I swear we should start a singles chat group on here for help and support while dating with POTS and NCS. If you ever need someone to chat with email me any time...Keep Smiling things will get better!!

Shelby

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